Hi all, just looking for a little advice my dad has recently been diagnosed with squamous cell skin cancer and has a very large tumour growing on his stomach which also lies over a large hernia, he had a serious stroke 10 years ago which has left him disabled and took his speech, the surgeons have just told us they cannot operate due to his overall health they said he won’t survive the surgery and that there is no treatment available for him just palliative care, Just over a year ago we suddenly lost my mum who was his carer, I have been told he has only months to live and I don’t know if I should tell him or not, because of his disability he is unable to do a lot and spends his days mostly in front of the TV, with so much time on his hands I’m worried this news will seriously effect his mental health along with still grieving my mum, but I also agree he has the right to know, he lives with live in carers who have advised me as he lives at home & not in a hospital setting they need to know if he wishes to have a DNR in place has anyone been in a situation like this & can offer any advice
Hi Worrieddaughter123 and a very warm welcome to the group which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and have had both melanoma and basal cell carcinoma (BCC) but I don't have experience with squamous cell carcinoma (SCC).
It sounds like you and your dad have a lot going on and I can understand you wanting to see what advice others in a similar situation might be able to offer. I think you'd benefit from joining and posting in the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as I'm sure you'll find people in a similar situation to you there.
If this is something that you'd like to do, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your dad's diagnosis into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
