New diagnosis, but husband already dealing with metastatic sarcoma, so life is feeling even harder now

Hi Yellowsun as you no doubt know, waiting for results is really stressful.  Sadly the diagnostic part of PCa can’t really be rushed, so you have a little more stress coming.  That said, PCa caught relatively early can be treated very effectively and often with curative intent.  Please come back if you have any questions or just rant as much as you like!

Hi Yellowsun my heart goes out to you.  But once the diagnosis is over and you’re dealing with the prostate cancer, things will improve and stabilise.  I can empathise: I dealt with a melanoma on my forehead (4 operations, starting with full depth skin graft and 3 more to achieve the proper margins - as each time some skin tissue was removed, little bits of malignant tissue was still too close to the edge).  All this whilst going through brachytherapy, external beam radiotherapy and hormone therapy. But, with a positive mindset and staying (very) active, Mrs AW and I got through it.  We’re currently anxious again due to what we hope is a temporary bounce on PSA (quite common, apparently) but we don’t let it stop us.  We have a hiking trip to Scotland for 2 weeks and two trips to the Alps for 5 weeks booked - all before mid September.  Read my bio : the brilliant NHS have his back and they have lots of experts and tools at their disposal. Keep the faith and live the best life you can, whilst you can. Nobody gets off this beautiful planet alive, so make the best of it whilst you’re here.  I know, it sound glib and condescending but it’s what keeps me focused and as positive as I can be. Try to keep the negative thoughts and wobbles at bay.,..   AW

Hello Yellowsun 

Welcome to our little part of the online Community (I know you have been around other groups for a couple of years) but I am sorry to find you joining us.

You have had a couple of great replies above, all that I can add is the prostate cancer is a very "treatable cancer" and once you have completed the diagnostic tests and have a treatment plan, life reverts to the "new normal".

The biopsy is next and here's a link to tell you what to expect:

The Transperineal biopsy.

Yellowsun said:

it’s hard to picture what life is going to look like,

For me, life didn't change, I now do more than I did pre-cancer, I an on holiday this week and yesterday walked a challenging part of the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path with my wife and dog.

Remember the Support Line is there for you too on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) and there's a wealth of knowledge on this group so please do come back with any questions, however trivial they may be.

Don't worry about the need to vent - we know how cancer can make you feel!!

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Yellowsun so sorry to find you here but this group is amazing and pulls me back up regularly . 

one thing I would be checking . Why was the PC not found during the sarcoma scans ? 

I do understand how your husband is upset, frustrated, angry etc as my husband was diagnosed with PC 26 months ago and  recently diagnosed with a very rare sarcoma in his colon . He did the bowel screening and it went from there. The polyp was removed and with decent margins but he has to have colonoscopies / scans every 3 months for 2 years.

sending you and your husband huge hugs 

liz & OH 

xxxxx

Thank you David, we now have the biopsy date, 2nd June, so at least we’re progressing through the system. It’s the day after his results for his 3-monthly scan for his other cancer, so keeping fingers crossed that it’s stable as we don’t need any change on that front at the moment. 

Thank you for your reply AW, it’s helpful to hear others’ experiences of multiple cancers, glad you’re able to get out and about now, your holiday plans sound lovely. Completely agree about making the most of the time we have, but understandably as he’s already living with a life limiting cancer, this latest news has knocked him. But we move onwards, and I’m hoping that in a few months we’ll just be living yet another ‘new normal’. He is already planning more jobs around the house/garden so is good at trying to have projects on the go, it’s definitely a coping strategy. 
Thanks again and enjoy your trips, hope your PSA rise is just a blip. 

Thank you Brian, much appreciated. 

Thank you Liz, sorry to hear your husband  had a rare sarcoma too, but glad it’s been picked up and treated. Your question about the CT scan not picking up the prostate cancer is a good one - basically his 3-monthly CT scans are from top of pelvis to high chest so don’t cover the prostate. Funnily enough my husband had asked the consultant a few months ago as to whether the scans would cover the prostate and was told no. I’m hoping at some point that the consultants for his two types of cancer can coordinate care such that his CT scans could cover both areas to avoid multiple different scans and appointments, as we have been told that following the biopsy, any treatment would come from the cancer unit where he’s already treated. His sarcoma is life llimiting as it’s metastasised so we’re already on stressful ground.  But I’m getting ahead of myself, one step at a time, his prostate biopsy is 2nd June, then we’ll take it from there. 
Thanks again. 

Reading your post makes total sense to me. He is in a fix an you’re trying to protect the kids while looking after their dad that has not one but two main problems.

This is where you should be calling to about your impossible position, but we see it differently in this support group. There are plenty of ways out of your spiral and getting you help is the first thing.

He will be ok with the NHS as AW says so carry on with the appointments but if you can, ask loads of questions so that you can support your hubby.

You need help to cut through to the core of your problem, and that’s about confidence and positivity. Ask for help, if you want to be stronger, whether it’s finance, schooling, his needs and your personal needs and start your recovery.

Take care.

Hi Me. U,  I can see that you have your own struggles so thank you for taking the time to reply.  Yes it all felt a bit much last week, coming as it did on top of his main life-limiting diagnosis. And it being a rare cancer means you’ve got to fight to make sure you’re seeing the right experts, so the last 2 years have involved a lot of researching and chasing, which adds to the exhaustion, plus several years of fighting for support for our daughter’s mental and physical struggles, so I think it all starts to take its toll.

At least with the prostate cancer it’s a much more researched cancer with several treatment pathways, and everything is much quicker - his biopsy is next week. With his other cancer we waited months in the first year to get follow up appointments. I guess it’s also an element of cancer ptsd, as this is bringing back all the memories of his first diagnosis. But my coping strategy is to research everything and to make sure we try and keep sane(ish) through all this, and keep busy to try and ease those spiralling thoughts. I’m taking time off work so that’s helping too. Hopefully in another few weeks we’ll know a bit more about what treatment options there might be. 
Thanks again.