Wife

Hello shrub 

Well, a warm welcome anyway, even if you don't know why you are here!

I think you will find cancer affects all couples in a different way and it totally changes the dynamic in a relationship - and prostate cancer does that - especially surgery. I know in 4 years my wife has had so much to put up with during my journey, yet she's always been there for me, and I am on the Hormone Therapy/Radiotherapy route.

You say "I'm fine", and that's your way to support your husband, but in reality your own life has been turned upside down and you have to accept the "New Normal".

We are all here for you - to share our journey, to chat about our feelings and to find the best way forward so please do feel free to say how you feel and if we can help, we will. We do understand how you feel.

Remember our Support Line is there for you too on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) - do have a chat with them - they can help too.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Brian, 

Thank you. I suppose the reason I don't know why I am here is because I didn't have cancer. It seems wrong for me to be. My experience is from the other side I suppose.

Hello shrub 

It's not a problem, if you read through any of the threads here you will find over 50% of the posts are from partners who are concerned about their other half.

The Community is here for support and you are more than welcome to post, ask for help or advice. Cancer affects everyone in different ways and unless you have cancer or are the partner of someone with a diagnosis you have no idea how it affects you.

If it wasn't for my partner and the help I have had from this Community I don't know how I would have got through 4 years of dealing with prostate cancer.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hello shrub ,

I'm very sorry you found it necesary to join this forum, and you are very welcome.

As Brian (Millibob ) says, many members are partners of men with PC and I'm sure you'll soon hear from many.

I've been here since my cancer "experience" began (lung 2014, followed by prostate 2016) and it has been a source of practical information,  help and inspiration throughout. I also don't know how I would have dealt with the past 12 years without my wife and this community

My best wishes,

Derek.

You sound like you need a reason to be here but you already have a reason. It’s because you are in the same mental confusion as the rest of us.

So, your hubby has a Cancer, that’s a fact. The problem with everyone caring for loved ones is the sheer weight of despair that sometimes stores up in our heads.

To let that out you need to talk to someone, and that’s what’s you have just done. So here we are ready to help you rest for a moment and our shoulders will help you recover.

You might not know why you’re here but we are here anytime you need us for support.

Good luck to you both

Hi Shrub and whilst I am sorry you have had to join us, I am glad you did. 

This is a wonderful family of husbands and wives who are all going through this couples disease. I felt like you and wondered why I had initially joined, as you say, it was our husband who had the illness. However, having joined the group about five years ago, I have learned so much about this horrible cancer. 

You will read experiences from men who are going through treatments of various kinds including surgery. Some will have good outcomes and some may have had unwanted side affects. Every case is different, but if you don't ask, you don't get so here is the best place to ask away and await responses. 

Not knowing more about your husband's statistics all I can advise is to go to all appointments with him, if you can and learn as much as possible from the experiences on this site and definitely not Dr Google as your role now is to support him.

Best regards

Giina