Husband's recent diagnosis

Hello WhiteShepherdess 

A warm welcome to the group although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

We all have a very different journey - suffer from different side effects of the treatment - and all have very different feelings. It would help us to help you if you could add some details of his diagnosis to his profile. To do this on your home page, click on the chair - top right - then "profile and then edit". Once you have written something remember to save it. If you can add his PSA readings along with his TNM and Gleason Score from the biopsy that would be great. (I am 4 years into my hormone Therapy/Radio Therapy journey - if you click on my user name or avatar you can read this).

At this stage I would say this is a Couples Cancer and he will need your support. He needs to keep as fit as possible as fatigue will try and catch up with him.

As Hormone Therapy can weaken your bone structure - a prescription for Calcium / Vitamin D Tablets would be a good idea too.

The Bicalutamide tablets are there to prevent a "flare" at the start of his Hormone Therapy and is quite normal.

Please feel free to ask any questions - nothing is too trivial.

Best wishes - Brian.

You are in the right place and we have an endless spectrum of experienced forum members who will support and answer questions you might have about the bewildering cancer you are about to learn about.

I’m 61, had it (Prostate cancer) 3.5 years and was originally diagnosed after having zero symptoms with stage four incurable. You will learn of this PT being a slow cancer. So stop panicking and tell us a bit more about you and he. My profile is a bit boring but it’s there and up to date. It’s also anonymous, so knock yourself out (if you wish).

So welcome WhiteShepherdess you are already making friends who can and will help. Ask away when you’re ready and beware the couple’s disease is a real pain in the genitalia when is comes to sexual relationships. We all are tiptoeing through a mine field of new and exciting relationship relations. Yes that a bit hard to swallow from my first post to you but, I’m nothing if not honest.

Please help yourself to the support here on this wonderful forum.

Good luck

Thank you so much. I shall look at this again tomorrow and add the details regarding his diagnosis.

Thank you very much for your reply to my post. I do appreciate it. We are a bit dazed at present with the mountain of stuff we've been given to read but I shall respond with further info soon. Thank you again for your kind response. 

Take your time and try not to Google anything. Ask us instead.

All humans are different and need different treatments. Bear that in mind.

Good luck WhiteShepherdess 

Thank you for your support and advice. It is greatly appreciated.  And for your informative treatment 'journey'.

Hello WhiteSheperdess,

You are right in that it seems a mountain of information is supplied & the more you read it the more confusing it seems to get as there is so much to take in regarding the different possible treatments.

What I did discover with the leaflets & booklets I was given is that there is a lot of repetition & also many sections weren't applicable to me.  So, I went through them with a black marker pen crossing out sections (they were still readable) that didn't apply which then helped me focus on what I did need to read.

Once I had made my treatment choice I went through them again & crossed out sections on the treatments that I wasn't going to have using a red marker pen.  What I was left with was much more manageable & made retaining the information much easier.

Best Wishes

Brian

Thank you so much for your helpful suggestion.  

Hello WhiteShepherdess   Feeling a bit overwhelmed is quite normal after all the tests have been completed and the early treatment stages have started. You have both been through a lot, there is a lot to learn and your husband’s experience might well be slightly different to the literature and other people’s experience. I’m on similar treatment to your husband, just over a year ahead and read a lot of the publications. Looking back the one I found the best was https://shop.prostatecanceruk.org/pdf/publication/prostate-cancer-a-guide-if-youve-just-been-diagnosed_ifm.pdfp which covers everything in sufficient detail and in a simple-to-read-and-understand language.

The good news is now he has a treatment plan and the pre-hormone injection therapy has started things will slow down for a few months, until just before the radiotherapy itself starts. RT sounds scary at this stage but will be a doddle…! 

As has been said it would be helpful if you could complete his diagnosis details and maybe the journey so far in your profile section. 

Just to add to the other comments and advice from a wife's point of view. If possible, attend all appointments with him, as it can be overwhelming with all the information and difficult for him to take in. After a few minutes, it just becomes bla, blah, blah, so if you are there you can interpret if he misses something. My husband was rubbish with accents and as a lot of clinicians and consultants are not from UK, they can be difficult to understand, especially if wearing a mask.

My other advice is be warned that there will be significant mood changes once he is on hormone therapy. Tears are normal so if he starts crying, don't assume you have stood on his foot!! The first change I noticed in my husband was that he asked if I could teach him how to make an apple pie. After I pulled myself together from the hysterical laughter, I realised he was serious. So, dutifully, I showed him and he made a good job of it, even making pastry from scratch. I had to admit it was a labour of love as I bloody hate baking. Still, he was so proud of his one and only pie! Knew it wouldn't last.

Best wishes

Gina