About my Prostate Cancer

Hi Mart44 I understand your dilemma but at 76 I would opt for chemo.  Have you kept your team involved with your new symptoms?  It is vital that any new issues are flagged to the medics.  Do you have a dedicated cancer nurse specialist perhaps.

Hello Martin (Mart44 ) 

A warm welcome to the group although I am so sorry to find you joining us. just reading your post as we say up north "you've been through the mill".

It does look like your team have got your treatment plan sorted out and I wish you well running into your Chemotherapy Course. I do hope the treatment works for you. Being 70 years old myself I understand just where some of the various aches and pains are from and I put them down to old age. When I get a new one I always tell my team about it!! The last one was a shoulder pain and it was a rotator cuff issue!

I know all about my eGFR - that's what got me here in the first place. If you look on my profile (click on my name or avatar) you will see my lowest eGFR was 8!!

Mart44 said:

I ought to just accept fate without all the treatments.

Finally, that's a tough statement to make - it's a personal choice but having almost lost my life once I am happy to accept any help as I love my wife, children and grandchildren (and my dog) and life is good to me at present even with all the odd aches and pains.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Martin your post was a difficult read. I feel my future is written somewhere in your words.  It was an episode of CKD-aP that resulted in the blood test for CKD and PSA that has me here.

I do hope you find the strength to keep the fighting spirit. As I hope I will if the time and situation needs it. Family, friends, interests can all bring you joy and excitement. Unexpected moments that make you laugh or cry. Maybe next year some monumental event will capture the world’s attention. We never know what the future is, be a shame to miss it. 

Now you’re here it’s a very supportive place. You feel the need to chat. To get things off your chest. Give a thumbs down to the universe. We are all here for you. 

Hello Martin

i am sorry to hear of your health issues over many years. You certainly seem to have had far more than your fair share!

I think you raise a very important question which can be distilled into what is important - the quality of life versus the quantity.  This is a very individual decision to make because people’s individual circumstances are so very different. The answer depends on so many variables including, but not limited to, social circumstances, pain and other adverse symptoms tolerance, family circumstances, levels of activity, faith, etc etc

What I would suggest before going ahead or declining the chemo is make sure you have as much information as possible ie

1. what is the cause of your stomach pain and how can it be alleviated ( involving your medical team!)

2. what specific drug(s) are they proposing to use for the chemo

3. what are the known side effects and risks with the specific drugs 

4. how good are the medics at controlling the side effects and risks on the one hand or, on the other, your symptoms as the cancer progresses

5. How much time will the chemo buy for you and how long you would live without it

i would also recommend that you discuss your circumstances with close and trusted  family members. They will be travelling this journey with you and will need to be fully informed so they can help you make a balanced and informed decision, support you on whichever pathway you choose.

The important thing to remember is that this is a big decision and, ultimately, yours to make with as much information and support from all of those around you, including the medical profession.

Just one last pointer, no matter which pathway you choose, as many of us are approaching our later years, we must ensure we put our house in order - wills,  power of attorney, our thoughts about resuscitation etc etc.

i sincerely hope that you have the right support and information to help you make the right decision for yourself. I also hope your stomach pain resolves quickly. If not, I suggest you contact your GP quickly.

Good luck x

Thanks everyone for the answers and support. It means a lot. I know we all have our crosses to bear.

I received a letter from the NHS this morning giving me a pre-chemotherapy appointment two days before the actual treatment starts. I guess they'll assess me then as to whether or not they finally go ahead.

Luckily, I have a very supportive local family and some good local friends. I expect one or other will give me a lift to the hospital for that appointment. Hospital transport has been arranged for all the other appointments.

Two of our children live abroad. They have flown in, one after the other, to give me and Mrs Mart44 help with living and do all the driving necessary during the time they were here. The help has been doubly needed because Mrs Mart has been in hospital. She became disabled in 1991 when a car hit her while she was on a Pedestrian Crossing. We had hopes of her walking again but it wasn't to be. I gave up work in 1995 to become her full-time carer.

Her admission was nothing to do with that but it certainly added to the situation. She was admitted to hospital because of a most awful-sounding chest condition.

We were both were admitted into hospital at that time. Her with the poorly chest, me with waterworks trouble. Our daughter arranged a double appointment for us at the GP. The Doctor thought we both needed hospital treatment and this is what happened. I was not there for more than a couple of days but she ended up spending 6 weeks on the wards.

While she was in there, she additionally caught Covid and subsequently, so did I. We both spent some weeks feeling absolutely lousy. Mrs Mart isolated in a closed room and me on my own at home. We have the local family who would look in on me from time to time. I spent much of the time in bed for that period. I visited her in hospital every day as soon as that was possible.

I was still on cancer treatment (Abiraterone) but it was before the Radio Therapy, so I at least wasn't suffering the effects of that. I was feeling pretty much OK at that time but walking around wasn't comfortable since I had a permanent catheter fitted with a Flip-Flo valve. I was still intermittently bleeding and sore from the bladder tumour removals. The trouble was that the bladder wasn't being flushed out very well. Most of the urine was going into the Nephrostomy Bag. What did come out of the bladder was almost pure blood without being very much diluted. More time passes and the catheter was removed. There was still some bleeding through the intermittent catheter but the smaller tube always managed to pass it. It looked like murder had been committed in our bathroom sometimes. 

I'm not looking forward to the next stage but as Millibob says, I owe it to my family and friends to stick around for as long as possible.

I have got the will written, my wishes and power of attorney all in place worriedwife. Thanks and thank you all.  

Edit: I see the reply is to worriedwife but it was meant to be to everyone. What a Newbie!

Hello Martin (Mart44 ) 

Thank you for taking the time to share your story - that's some story too!!

Mart44 said:

I see the reply is to worriedwife but it was meant to be to everyone.

Don't worry about who your reply is to - we are one big family on the Prostate Group and you are a very welcome member.

There's always someone around so if you do have any questions about your diagnosis or treatment (or anything else) just ask away - nothing is too trivial for this fantastic group.

Best wishes - Brian.