Hi everyone I desperately need your help and advice. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer two months ago My PSA was 18, initial MRI scan showed that the cancer was contained within the prostate and biopsy showed I had a Gleason 3+4. Since then I have had an isotope bone and CT scan which I have just been informed confirmed the cancer for now had not metastasised. The recommendation was that I have surgery, via robotic radical prostatectomy but the side effects of abdominal scarring (five insistions), bladder incontinence (possibly temporary), erectile dysfunction (again possibly temporary) reduction in penile length and dry orgasms really concerns me. I was told (and read online) that although radiotherapy (both the external and internal treatment) will naturally circumvent the scarring and reduction in penile length, there would still be dry orgasms and the long term (3 months to 2 years) bladder incontinence and erectile dysfunction could be more severe or permanent. I am 57 with no children. I was told (or it was suggested) that just surviving this disease should be my priority but the reason I’m struggling to make a decision is I am beginning to feel the quality of that survival is if not just as important…perhaps more.
I guess my question is, does anyone have any advice as to how to choose between the two options. Have you had radiotherapy and have any advice as to what to insist upon to minimise the late effects of bladder incontinence and erectile dysfunction.
I am wary that every moment I delay making a decision gives the disease opportunity to spread. Please help if you can and thank you for reading this far.
Hello Ethan (Ethan)
So you have the choice between surgery and HT/RT. An important life changing choice which will impact on both you and your partner.
Grab yourself a pen and paper (I am old school!) and jot down a list of the pros and cons of each treatment as to how they would affect you and your partner.
I am 69 years old - I have had 3 years HT/RT - in answer to your specific questions I don't have bladder incontinence, I don't have erectile dysfunction and I don't have dry orgasms, I DID have issues during treatment but these have now resumed "normal operation". You can read my journey by clicking on my user name or avatar - I did have other issues (like almost dying) but I am still here!!
Feel free to ask any specific questions.
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
Hi Ethan - have a read of my bio (click on the snowy scene next to my name). Your diagnosis is similar to mine and I have had no ED or incontinence throughout my treatment. AW
Thank you Alpine Wanderer for your advice and for sharing your story, i truly appreciate it.
I too saw the Dr Sholtz videos about brachytherapy boost and hoped it might be the route forward. They mentioned a diagnostic tool called Prostox which can help determine whether a patient will be predisposed to suffer from long term aftereffects from one of the two brachytherapy treatments. Can I ask, was Prostox mentioned in your consultations, is it available on the NHS and also for your treatment was the spacer gel Spaceorg used?
My MDT reported that all options were active but surgery was preferred. When I spoke to the consultant who delivered the message he said the reason surgery was preferred and not radiotherapy was due to my age and health, they felt my body could handle the procedure, also due to my age they felt that I had many years ahead of me so the possible long term side effects of radiotherapy could play a factor down the line. He also said that this was the reason radiotherapy was often offered to older patients and not surgery. If further scans was not needed to determine whether there had been a metastasis, I probably would have said yes on the spot and not have had the opportunity to research further and consult with you wonderful people.
I have a consultation with a Clinical Oncologist soon, but sadly although his bio states he specialises in radiotherapy and brachytherapy, I do not believe he has as much experience in the later as your surgeon AW, which is a concern. I think the first question I will need to ask him is, considering my scans and overall profile, whether he feels brachytherapy will be suitable for me and to what extent he has practiced the discipline. Thanks again AW.
Hi Ethan - no, I didn’t have prostox or any diagnostic tool. The prostatectomy surgeon said I was a prime candidate for surgery, but I felt uneasy about the chance urinary incontinence in particular. In addition, my surgeon consultant said he estimated a 30% chance of recurrence with the surgical route, so I didn’t fancy two sets of side effects compounding each other. (as Dr. Sholtz says “one and done” is best). I asked about SpaceOar, but the team said that the accuracy is far better in today’s radiotherapy than when SpaceOar was first introduced. They also didn’t want it to “mask” any potential escapees from the gland. I had brachytherapy at another hospital after I requested referral, as I really wanted to pursue brachytherapy boost - particularly after reading the ASCENDE Study report and the Canadian charts which seemed pretty persuasive. After brachytherapy, I was referred back to my local hospital for the hormone therapy (done at GP surgery) and 23 fractions of EBRT. So far, touch wood, my body has tolerated this aggressive approach. AW
Hello Ethan (Ethan)
When diagnosed I was aware of the possibility of growing a pair of "moobs". I was offered "tamoxifen". I was 66 at the time I have other issues so no - I am happy with where I am.
Yes I am overweight, yes I have a cracking pair of "moobs" but for me I am still om a "curative pathway", so it's been my choice to accept the changes to my body - the thing is I am still here and they are MY choices. I enjoy my family, holidays and life in general - once you have almost died some things change your attitude!!
Sometimes you need to consider treatment v quality of life!!
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
Just to add to my previous post, here's a link to the NICE guidelines so this shows what you should have been told and offered:
NICE Guidelines Prostate Cancer.
Plenty to consider there!
We are all here for you - we have "been there done that" - anything you need to know - just ask.
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
Thanks AW, I am leaning towards this route, and I’m realising that I may have to be insistent. Can I ask, did you have the low dose permanent seed implant or high dose?
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007