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Hi Mitsen 

as a wife of a husband  of over 50 yrs who is on hormone therapy . It is difficult but we have now come to the conclusion that he is alive and we work through the anxieties with what I would say is courting again . And it’s fun.

There are things that your consultant/ GP can prescribe which didn’t work for him . Was offered a referral to ED clinic but he doesn’t want anything mechanical as he put it.  

I know you will get lots of support on this forum from fellow sufferers and partners too.

best wishes and take care 

Liz & OH xx

Hello again Chris (Mitsen) 

I am pleased you have found us - we are a decent bunch!

Your treatment looks to have worked well, it’s the ED and loss of libido that’s the issue. I appreciate we are all different and to be honest for me the fact I can’t get an erection and I am ill has brought my wife and I much closer- and we were close BC ( before cancer).I don’t know if it’s an age thing - I am 69 and been married 46 years!

There is help available through your team and GP and it’s possible our Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) may have some advice for you.

If you click on a Community member’s name or avatar you can read their journey profile. To add yours on your home page click on the chair - top right, then profile and then edit. Once you have written something don’t forget to save it.

Best wishes - Brian.

This can be really difficult time and ED is having a massive impact on our marriage. As a wife of a husband that had surgery 6 weeks ago it has completely changed the dynamics of our relationship (we’ve been married but 34 years) he’s 60 and I’m 56. Each day we are growing apart. We need to try and rebuild our relationship but neither of us know how to. Emotions are everywhere, loss, anger, grief, loneliness. I’m not actually sure the marriage is going to survive as we’ve started becoming comfortable doing our thing. We have tried other things in the bedroom but to be honest it’s just not working and I would rather not even try anymore. We need some support tho I’m not sure where or in what form. We weren’t informed by the consultant before surgery of the severity before surgery and we would told by him this week it could take upto 2 years! We would have definitely looked into other treatments that may not have impacted so much on his ED. My husband is a very positive person but I’m noticing he’s becominf quite depressed with all this and I’m just living on my nerves and have most definitely slipped into depression. 

Hi dobbie florence 

if you have a local Maggie Centre it might be worth a visit.  We did and they listen , no judging but will guide you both on options . They also do one to one support.  We preferred doing a joint session and we felt a lot better afterwards. 

huge hugs to you both  & keep in touch 

Liz & OH xx 

Hello dobbie florence 

I am so sorry to read your post and can appreciate just where you are.

I am on holiday at present but the Suport line is for both of you on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) give them a call please.

I will get a further reply to you tomorrrow.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Brian, thanks for the reply.

Fingers crossed I have some hope.

With the aid of the blue tablets I can get a 80% erection sometimes but too afraid to put it to use , although wife and me have discussed this and plan to give it a try,

Despite all that’s going against me , I do have hope , and although Iv 2 more years of Prostap , I’m going to try other aids etc.

Fingers crossed 

Hi Dobbie, so sorry to hear your story.

The only consolation I can give you is that your not on your own and your predicament mirrors ours.

I have all the symptoms your husband and my wife has the same as yours.

All of the problem is driven by me feeling like half a man and therefore the impact on both our mental health.

Yes there is help you can get , ie counselling etc , but it’s so hard to be positive .

I would hope that his consultant can offer hope in the form that time will pass and things can improve , just got to get thru the lows.

I still get depressed, but after finishing a year of treatments we are getting out more and seeing friends and family often , which is a distraction.

Also , we are booking breaks and holidays which get us out of the house , which really helps.

Good luck , stay strong.

Thank you and it helps not knowing I’m the only one going through this. I try to keep so positive but sometimes it’s just impossible. The worst time is in the evening which I know it nearly time to go to bed! That’s when the loss hits me, I’m starting to make excuses to not go to bed. We have booked a holiday so that’s something to look forward to. Anita 

Don’t give up I too am trying to work through this, had ED since last May not long after my first approach to the Dr. Diagnosed in August and onto HT which completely killed it off unfortunately, now following Brachytherapy and  20 sessions of Radiotherapy they encouraged me to ask the Gp for some pills which I will be doing next week they have also booked us an appointment with Urologist in May really hoping this is going to help things along!?