Scared daughter

Hello Jen (Jen8967) 

A warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Prostate Community, although I am so sorry to find you here. I am Brian, one of the Community Champions here on the Community and am in the 4th year of my personal prostate cancer journey.

I can understand your feelings, it's the shock of the diagnosis seeing and a very proud 75 year old gentleman losing all his dignity during a prostate biopsy. A PSA of 7 and a PI-RADS score of 4 would indicate a very treatable cancer and I would think lead to a "curative pathway".

So to reassure you he's now over the hardest part of the diagnostic pathway and it's just a wait for the biopsy results Once the biopsy results are known there will be an MDT meeting to determine dad's best treatment path.. At this point I would just give you two pieces of advice-

* I know it's hard to keep fit (I am 69 so I do know) but try an encourage dad to keep as fit and mobile as possible.

* If you are doing your own research - try and keep it to Prostate Cancer UK, Cancer Research UK and of course Macmillan. (Dr Google has lots that isn't always right!).

I hope the above helps, we are a decent bunch who have all been where you are now and we know how hard the diagnostic pathway is. Feel free to ask any questions - you will get honest answers however trivial your question is.

Best wishes - Brian.

Don't panic yet ! His PSA is only marginally raised and the MRI is indicating something that requires further investigation (which may of course be cancer).

I'm 73 and was diagnosed 2 years ago with a quite aggressive cancer which was localized to my prostate. I had radiotherapy with hormone therapy and have responded well to treatment. It's a bit of a journey but I enjoy a good quality of life and still enjoy salsa dancing 3 times a week.

There is every chance your Dad will either have a cancer that only requires monitoring or can be cured with one of the many advanced treatment options available.

Waiting for Biopsy results is perhaps the most stressful period on the pathway to diagnosis. Support your Dad and keep us posted of how he is getting on.

Best Wishes Rob

Hi Jen,

I so feel for you, but just wanted to say hello and you have come to the right place. This forum is a full of wonderful guys and gals, who will all be replying before very long. My husband had a psa of 1200, four years ago. If it wasn't for all his other health issues, I am sure he would be absolutely fine at the ripe old age of just turned 80. The prostate cancer appears to be the least of his issues, despite being grade 4, spread to the bones and non curable.

There are many, many positive stories here, so sit back and wait for them to arrive.

Sleep well and best regards

Gina

Hello Jen8967 and welcome from a wife. This is the most difficult and scary part of the journey whilst your dad has all the tests and waits for the results. Please be reassured that if your dad has prostate cancer then there will be a plan to deal with it for many years. There is a good statistic which is that 98% of men die with it and not of it. There are many people on here who will help you through the process but your dad needs you to be strong. There are also many who have been diagnosed at the same age, my husband was 76 when he was diagnosed in 2020 and we still have a good quality of life despite a few bumps along the way.  I am sure there will be others along to welcome you and try to give you reassurance and we can certainly help you to understand what all the jargon means and what treatments might be involved. The best thing you can do to help your dad is to encourage him to keep as fit as possible and stay positive. We know that you will have many questions so ask away and we will try and help.

Hi Jen8967

Welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for advice and support. There are lots of lovely people on here who can help you and your dad.

Your dad is at a very early stage of diagnosis. A psa of 7 is not very high and you can have a psa of that level for other reasons. The MRI shows that there is something there that needs looking at but it is not yet certain whether it is cancer. The biopsy will confirm either way. If you could let us know the results of the biopsy, when you know it, that will help people on here to give better advice.

The thing to keep in mind is that these days prostate cancer is extremely treatable and often curable. The vast majority of people who are diagnosed do not die of it. My father was diagnosed aged 79 and was completely cured. He passed away aged 93 (of old age). I was diagnosed 18 months ago, aged 61. I am also now completely cancer free. Many people on here will tell you they are living a full and active life after treatment.

Even if your dad does have prostate cancer, he may need some treatment, but he is likely to be around for many years to come.

Please feel free to ask anything.

Let us know how he gets on.

Cliff

Thank you so much for replying! You have certainly put my mind at ease. My Dad and I are very close and this is the first real health scare he’s had (luckily) and it’s all happened so fast it’s a lot to take in. One thing I am a bit worried about is he’s been complaining of pain in his back and shoulder/neck for a while now. I know I’m jumping the gun here but if it does show to be cancer, will they do other scans to see if it has spread? I will certainly keep everyone updated as it has really helped me to read what others are going through and it helps with some of the strange words that I don’t understand! Thanks again. 

Thanks so much for the reply. This is the first major health scare my Dad has had (luckily) and he’s the rock of our family, always the calm one that sorts us all out when we are worried about things so it feels so bizarre to be having to comfort him (even though he seems very relaxed I’m sure he’s not inside and is trying to protect us)

I am happy to hear you have responded well to your treatment! I will let you know how we get on.

Thank you for replying! I’m so sorry to hear your husband has some other health issues that are affecting him. My husband had cancer at the age of 28, I’m very lucky that he’s been in remission for 9 years now but it’s such a scary time. I’m so glad I have found this forum though.

I wish you and your husband all the best xx

Thank you so much for the words of reassurance. I can’t help myself from letting my mind run away with me and thinking the worst! He’s been complaining of back and shoulder pain for a while now and I’m worried if it is cancer that it could have spread but I know there’s no point in worrying until we know what we are dealing with! I hope your Husband is ok, mine was diagnosed with blood cancer at 28 but has been in remission now for 9 years so I am accustomed to the cancer world (unfortunately) but doesn’t stop you worrying! 

wish you all the best xx

Hi Cliff. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for your comforting words. I do have a tendency to let my mind run away with itself and think the worst but I know that won’t help anyone! I am very glad I have found this forum and will tell him to come and have a look himself as I think it would make him feel better (even though he seems very relaxed-I know it’s a bit of a front!)

I’m glad to hear your dear Dad managed to have a long life xx