New here

Good Morning N0t2Day 

Welcome to the Macmillan Online Prostate Community, I am Brian one of the Community Champions here on the group.

First off, don't worry about having a rant, this is the place for it - we've all had "issues" at some point in our journey and it's better out than bottled up!!. Like you I am on the Hormone Therapy/radiotherapy journey and the side effects of the HT have made me angry, cry, sad, have brain fog, you name it, iv'e had it so you aren't alone in that respect.

As you say, things do appear to be dragging on - diagnosed March 2024 and only now starting the Radiotherapy pathway. But at least you are starting RT now.

It must be hard going through the journey living alone and if you don't mind here are a few suggestions for you.

* Here at Macmillan we can offer you a "Buddy" to contact you once a week to chat about your cancer or anything else on your mind - details here - Macmillan Buddies.

* How about joining "Andy's man Club" this is a male peer to peer support club, details here - Andy's Mans Club.

* Do you have a "Maggie's" near you. This is a cancer charity where you can just drop in and have a chat and obtain plenty of support - link here - "Maggie's"

* At Macmillan we can provide free counselling thanks to BUPA - Free BUPA Counselling.

* Last but not least, there's our Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week). If you contact them 9-5 Monday to Friday you should be able to speak to one of our Financial Advisors.

I do hope some of the above helps - if I can do anything else for you please do let me know. 

Feel free to join in any conversations on the Community - we like to feel we are one big family and you have just joined us.

Best wishes - Brian

Hi N0t2Day sorry you have joined our club.  Mood swings and tears come with HT, so you are not alone in that and I am sure people will understand if you can tell them you are on medication.  I don’t know when your RT is due to start, but once underway you will know that you are killing this beast at last.  Dealing with cancer must be very hard on your own but we are here to support you.  I have just seen that my friend Brian has replied with all the details but please ask here if you have any questions.  You are not alone.  David

Hello nottoday, welcome to this group! I feel sure you will get lots of responses:)

im sorry to hear about your stresses, anxieties, anger and tears! This is very much how I have responded to my husband’s diagnosis!

I think you probably have three problems here! The first is that the hormone therapy does seem to cause lowered and altered mood levels and more in some men than others. My husband has other health problems but literally hit rock bottom after 18 months of ht - so much so that he was advised by the oncologist to stop having it!

The second issue is that we found the waiting period for the radiotherapy extremely stressful. It felt like a black cloud hanging over us. On the one hand we wanted to get it over and done with so we could get on with our lives, get our travel insurance reinstated and know that the cancer would have hopefully been smashed to smithereens. On the other hand, we were scared silly of all the side effects we had been warned about ( and, so far, not really materialised although we got very tired with the travelling for the daily sessions!)

Finally, I think a cancer diagnosis shakes us to the core. It brings us up face to face with our own mortality and the realisation that we won’t go on for ever. This brings lots of emotions to the surface - fear, anger, anticipatory grief, panic and on and on! It’s a lot to deal with!

please don’t forget that there is professional help out there for you - your medical team, MacMillan services, support groups locally to you, friends, families and, even strangers! It’s amazing how many people we never knew who have opened up about their own cancer experience when we have spoken about my husband’s! For us, talking and sharing has been a real help in dealing with the cancer.

i do hope that you will feel you are supported and helped here. Now you have taken the first step to reaching out, I hope you will realise you are not alone on this journey. We all understand ! I also hope the RT goes smoothly for you and that you will soon sail into calmer waters:)

N0t2Day,  as the other replies have said, this is all normal.  Being diagnosed with Prostate Cancer is a massive shock to the system!  It does take some getting used to.

I remember my feelings were basically the same as yours, emotions and mental health all over the place.

I too went through the angry phase, nobody was safe from my "snapping" at them for no reason.

Hope you can at least enjoy some of your holiday.

Keep us all informed about your progress.

Take Care 

Thank you Brian and I will look at some of the things you have suggested 

Thank you David 

Hello Not2Day.

Whilst I see that you have received some great replies from some of the regulars on here, I'm picking up that your finances are a major concern to you whilst having treatment.  Although you have said that you are still working, you haven't mentioned whether this is for an employer or self employed.  

If you are employed, then I understand that having been diagnosed with cancer, you are automatically protected by the Equality Act 2010 & amongst other things your employer must make ‘reasonable adjustments’ for you so that you’re not disadvantaged compared to non-disabled people. This could include, 

• time off for medical treatment or counselling  (many guys find that they can continue working during their RT treatments especially if some adjustments can be made)
• a phased return to work, for example working flexible hours or part-time

I can see that Millibob has given you the contact details of the Macmillan support line & suggested that you speak with one of their Financial Advisors who I'm sure will be able to  give you some more specific help which will hopefully ease some of the concerns you currently have. 

Best Wishes

Brian

Thank you 

Thanks Steve I will keep you all updated and although emotional reading these responses it does make me feel better if that majes sense 

Thanks Brian you are correct my finances are my major concern because I only have me to rely on to pay my bills which has not been a problem so far but I know it will be once I feel to rough to work and my hours will drop significantly or totally. My employers are very good and understanding but it doesn't replace the loss of earnings unfortunately and although the DWP will I'm sure help me with essential bills it's my non essential bills I'm more concerned about that currently are fine and I don't worry about having enough money to pay everything. I'm sure I will be able to get most of them to freeze any payments for a short period of time which will make me feel much better but I just dread not being able to pay everything. Debt is not something I will cope with well but chatted with macmillan earlier and my credit card companies so think I might be ok just it's all a stress tgat I could've done without but I'm trying to be positive this won't last forever then I can get my life back on track