Hello

Thank you Steph you have given lots of good advise. I am worried about mervyn, but never been in this situation so don’t know if what’s going on is normal for cancer patients so I get frightened. My remark today, “is this the begging of the end “ was a bit dramatic,sorry, I wait on him all the time, get tired ,am getting over a short illness myself and am now anemic so got no energy, just as Merv is anemic  and got no energy. I feel I am ringing the drs unnecessary, they came twice in 7days this week. As you will know from my posts, my daughter is up to her eyes in work stuff and I overloaded her with what was happening to her dad, she is my go to, but I feel I can’t do that now and have to talk to strangers instead. If I have the planned opera for me I will need help, normally mervyn would be that , but he is not strong enough now. I plucked up courage to ring the number you gave me this evening, but it said go online or ring tomorrow. A lady told me she had help when her husband was I’ll, a micro provider I think she called it, but it’s £28 an hour , so for a mornings help that’s over a hundred pounds!! 
we live in a little park home, it do take much to look after but a.t.m I can’t do it. Anyway, I will try phoning people again 2moro, thanks again for your help. ,  Brenda x

Hello Brenda (Crafter 1938 ) - It's great to hear from you again -and although things are not good - I can only think you called the helpline after 8pm last night.

I am so pleased you have found the strength to make those call today - people are ready to help - you just need to make that contact, have another try this morning.

Stick with us and keep us posted.

Kind Regards- Brian.

Hello Brenda.

My heart goes out to you. Don't be sorry for asking 'is this the beginning of the end'. It is a question we should all be prepared for, but are afraid to ask. It is not nice watching our loved ones having to deal with cancer and the treatments and, quite naturally, we are watching them like a hawk and worried about any changes that we see. Very often we skirt around the question because we don't want the answer but it is better to find out from your doctor if this is the case. It will take away some of your uncertainty and anxiety just by knowing and give both you and your children the information you need to plan for either the short or the longer term. I have attached a link to Marie Curie about what to expect if you think someone is dying if you feel strong enough to read it. They could also be an additional source of help.

Please try and contact Macmillan again this morning.

https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect

Hello Brenda.

Just thought I would check in with you to see if you have managed to get through to Macmillan. We are all thinking of you.

I tried !! Was going to again today, but other things got in the way. Dr phoned  and said bloods have come back as they expected (doesn’t help me to understand that though ) but he was waiting for p.s.a result, apparently they didn’t do it, so now nurse coming tomorrow to take more bloods off him, he has lost so much weight that it’s hard to find a vein so not nice for Merv. I have also told them how worried /stressed we are about next week when I come out of hospital, as I will need help as well as Merv. They have told me there is something called micro providers, which you have to pay for about £25 an hour a think but nothing on n.h.s. I thought a community nurse just coming to check on us would be o.k, but apparently not.  
next week is also Merv,s dental appointment , which although he is a cancer patient we still have to pay for, could be £300 if he has to have extraction.

I thought dental treatment for cancer patients was free but apparently, because he is not having chemo or radiotherapy, they don’t class him as a cancer patient so we are treated as normal, even though he has stage 4cancer everywhere !!!!
one good thing I suppose is the fact that,I have spent so much time stressing , dressing, and waiting on Merv that I have had no time to worry about my knee replacent next week, I am really frighten ,I am no good with tolerating pain , and was told they just send you home with paracetamol, which I take every four hours now and it does nothing for me. , so pain from an op will be worse. xx

Just a quicky. You can phone Macmillan until 8 this evening.

I was surprised by what MacMillan Cancer Support can offer for both patient and spouse.  I’d suggest a call to them asap.  I was given a contact very soon after diagnosis so I guess you’re in the system somewhere.

Hello Crafter 1938 Brenda

Just to remind you - as Alwayshope and Huffies have said - you MUST make that call Macmillan will be able to advise you regarding help and dental charges:

0808 808 00 00

Kind Regards - Brian.

Hi Brenda.

Just a catch up to wish you well for the 4th and hope you have got things sorted.