Been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer which has spread at 45 :(

don't beat urself up about not spotting any signs i didn't have any either 

like you i'm incurable nearly 5yrs in though and doing o.k 

being positive has really helped me and it will help you 

exercise too is a great way of fighting the cancer and side effects 

 i was diagnosed at 59 

Thanks for the reply.

It's just really tough having this dropped on me in my mid 40s, there is still so much I want to do.

A very warm welcome Zaxx.

We are a friendly bunch who can understand the devastating feelings you have at being diagnosed but it seems so unfair when you are still young. You have already started with hormone therapy which is great as it puts the brakes on the cancer and sets you up for the next step which is the chemotherapy. We will try and help you through with pointers on what to expect and how to cope with the different therapies but please come and ask as many questions as you like as there will always be someone here who has personal experience and is willing to share it with you. Initially we all feel that the bottom has fallen out of our world and that everything revolves around diagnosis and treatment but we do learn that you can still have a good quality of life and that hopefully it will be for some time to come. I know it seems difficult at the moment but a positive attitude is essential, along with keeping as fit as possible and helping yourself with diet.,... Your biggest allay is your wife who is also feeling the devastation so make sure she is ok. It is fine to have a rant, express fears but I hope you will also find that there are many positive and inspirational people here who just want to help you.

There are others on here who have been diagnosed at a young age and I am sure they will be adding their own experiences here. Look after each other and know that you are amongst friends.

Hello Zaxx  A warm welcome to the online Prostate Cancer Community.

I am so sorry to read of your diagnosis and can fully understand how devastated you must be. As others have said it's great you have started the hormone therapy and you already have a treatment plan in hand. I haven't been through chemotherapy but there are plenty of Community members who will be happy to share help, information and tips for you in dealing with this treatment. I can also confirm we have plenty of Community members with a similar diagnosis, who have been around for many years - but be positive - new treatments are being made available all the time.

As my friend Alwayshope has said in her post Prostate cancer is a "couples cancer" and your wife will be your rock as you head into your treatment journey. We are a friendly bunch and are happy to answer any questions you may have - however trivial you may think they are.

With my "Community Champion" hat on - may I offer you the following pieces of information.

* As well as "our" Community, there are a couple of other forums that you may wish to join and these are the Chemotherapy forum and the Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only . To join these just click on the links provided and once the page opens up, just click on "join" on the black banner at the bottom of the page.

* Do you have a "Maggie's" near you? This is a cancer support charity with many centres around the country. They offer many types of practical and social help for you and your family. to find your nearest Maggie's 0300 123 1801 or e-mail enquiries@maggiescentres.org or www.maggiescentres.org

* There is our own help line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week). The wonderful people there have access to multiple types of help and extra support -feel free to give them a call.

Sorry for going on a bit - but we are all here to help - if I can do anything else for you please don't hesitate to contact me. Please do keep us updated with your journey.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Zaxx

Not the greatest news for you both, but here we will try and give you answers when you ask.

Although I’m older, it hit my wife more than me, a vast amount of crying, anyway that was seven and a half years ago, I had very very high scores across the board, but still going so there’s plenty of life to be had yet, for both of you, chemo and maybe radiotherapy will keep it at bay for many years.

Dont know if you celebrate Christmas, but if you do, carry on as normal, I had my chemo through Xmas but still enjoyed it.

Stay safe

Joe

Hi Zaxx,

My partner was 56 when he was diagnosed last year, we were devastated. Apparently he has had it for over 10 years, so that would bring him into his early 40's when it kicked off. He had symptoms, mainly going to the toilet a lot and the feeling that something was wrong down there, he also had had three colonoscopy's and several rectal examinations over the last ten years. But was never offered a PSA test, (because of his age). Unfortunately the cancer was happily growing on the other side of the prostate which couldn't be felt through a rectal examination and it wasn't until it had spread around to the rectum side that it was discovered. (a new Gp was examining him for possible piles and decided to send him for a blood test PSA)  So we understand your feelings of grief and injustice.

It's hard to find positives when you find there is no cure and you have so much that you wanted to do in the future, but there is something important to consider: You are young and strong naturally because of your age, so you must keep your body as fit as possible, this will help you get more out of life, so if you don't have a solid exercise regime plan to get one. My partner now goes to the gym (minimal twice a week) and has a personal trainer that specialises cancer care. This has helped him recover from RT and keeps his fitness and bone strength up as well as his feeling of well being, he is making a positive change. This will help you also. Take supplements for your bone health, Calcium and vitamin D if you are not already. Also being young and fit you will have more to fight with as you probably won't have any pre-existing other problems like heart disease or diabetes etc in the mix, so this is also a positive,. The medications and treatments are superb and should keep you ticking over nicely for sometime to come and also consider that we live in an age of fast change and incredible research with groundbreaking knowledge gained daily, so what is not available or even discovered today could be available tomorrow. There may not be a cure today, but there could be in the future. ( this is how I love to think!)  Most importantly, we are all going to die sometime theres no way around that, so this is an opportunity to view your life in a strong perspective. People spend years of their lives doing sod all. worrying about the small stuff and not doing things they want to do because they will "do it later" They drift.  We have to some degree been given a gift. You will understand now and in a clearer way what is important to you. You won't waste time, you have been given the heads up and so do all the things you want to do, have more fun with the people you care about, kiss your wife more, she deserves it, Travel to the places you want to see, it doesn't have to cost the earth. All the things you want, do them now. With this positive attitude you won't miss out on life, you will just cut out the dull wasteful side and who needs that anyway.

Best wishes to you and your family

Lx 

BW  Well said that lady - what a cracking post and that's just how I feel now - after almost losing my life 2 years ago - it's an amazing world out there - grasp it with both hands at every opportunity.

Thanks for the inspiring post and my best wishes to you both - Brian x. 

• Hello and welcome. My husband is 63 and was diagnosed in April. I thought life had to to an end and didn't cope anywhere near as well as hubbie did. He was and is so positive. He had no symptoms and his mind set is that there is nothing wrong with me. I honestly think that is what has got him through treatment so well. 2 weeks ago he completed his 6 sessions of chemo and really did sail through it with no fatigue, sickness, mouth ulcers or hair loss. Everyone is different and chemo doesn't always affect people negatively. Whilst my husband's cancer can't be cured it can be treated and the oncologist said for many years. His PSA on diagnosis was 59.9 and just before his 6 th chemo it was 0.14. please don't feel angry at yourself, often there are no symptoms and if they are it is easy to put it down to an age thing. The important thing is you have joined this group and everyone is so supportive, I couldn't have got through the last few months without people on here. Best wishes to you

Zaxx, sorry you have joined our Club but you have come to the right place for help.  I was much older at 68 when I was given my incurable diagnosis and it seemed to take over every waking moment.  Over 6 years later I have a good quality of life but still worry about test results every few months.  
It’s not easy but try and keep a positive attitude.  Any particular worries you have, post on here and you will get honest answers back from people who have been through PCa themselves.  The journey will be hard for you both and it seems odd to say it, but strangely for us it has helped in all sorts of ways, which in time you will come to appreciate.
You do have youth on your side and the longer your cancer can be suppressed, the better the chance of new treatments, drugs and maybe cures you will have.  Since I started my journey in 2017 many more treatment options are now available and my personal hope is that the oncologist can keep my cancer under control for years to come.  Good luck - you are not alone.

David

Hi Zaxx

Was diagnosed at a similar age of 44 with G8 & spread to Lymph nodes, seminal vessel,  spine & both hips. 

Completely understand what your going through,  probably most on here have been through it. Your heads like a washing machine at this stage, questions going round and round but no answers yet.  It takes time to absorb the diagnosis as well as all the info you'll get bombarded with. It does get easier.........

Please remember, you are not going through this alone. Your wife & family are all going through it with you.

With the advance in treatments over the last decade or so, there is no reason you cannot live a healthy active life with these treatments. I have done exactly that for the last 10 years!! I appreciate we are all different & react differently to treatment but they have given us the gift of time that others maybe didn't get 10-15 yrs ago. 

What we do with that time is important,  spend it with family, travel, do all the things you wanted to do but most of all enjoy life, live life and sod the cancer.

Wishing you all the best