Hello from a newbie

Hi Glitterstrand  and welcome to the forum. It's a tough time for you and your family. It might help you to go to the Prostate Cancer UK website and download the file "How Prostate Cancer is Diagnosed". It might also help when you have a discussion with your children. This link: https://prostatecanceruk.org/media/2499098/how_prostate_cancer_is_diagnosed-ifm.pdf

It would help us to help you if you could add the stats to your profile once you have them (Pirads score, PSA and TNM staging).

Gleason 7 is not too aggressive, but whatever treatment path you go along please keep in touch as there will be someone here who has an answer to any questions you might have.

Hello Glitterstrand. Welcome to our exclusive club - even though you didn't want to join!!

A cancer diagnosis is a very difficult time and with young(ish) children even more so. Age 13/16 I am sure they are aware of cancer but probably too young for the full details. I agree they should be told and personally would say that dad's going on a journey to recovery and will need all the help and understanding you are able to give. I would also say this will affect their daily routines at some point.

Seamus47 said:

It would help us to help you if you could add the stats to your profile

Once we have these we are able to give you targeted advice. Some of us, me included, have a diary of our journey which can help you to understand the various treatments - you can read mine by clicking on the icon if the beach.

Anything you wish to know just ask, someone will have "ben there done that"

Kind Regards

Brian.

Hello Seamus47 thanks for your reply I will definitely have a look at the link and thank you for your kind words and support, will add the stats to my profile thanks for the tip

Hello Millibob thanks for replying and letting me know about the diaries and for telling me about yours it will all help with everything to come definitely.  

Hi GS

all his stats seem low especially with the PSA  only 5.

also good that it is still contained within the gland, Gleeson 7 also  OK.

So your only thinking is whether to go for RT or surgery, a difficult decision must admit.

do check out all the side effects for both treatments.

only thing I would say, he's obviously young at 49 so do bear in mind  potential ED issues are there with surgery, obviously not always though

best wishes

Steve

Hi Grundo thanks for replying yes it is a relief that it is contained.  As you say the main thing for us is deciding whether to go down the surgery or RT route both have their merits and drawbacks like any treatment.  The posts on here are really helping though to give a picture of what may happen on either route.  We just need to work out which will be best for him and us as a family also, not easy!

Hello Glitterstrand

I am so sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis and my heart goes out to you both as you struggle to handle this shock.  It sounds as if you are a fair way along the diagnostic pathway. I found jumping through all the different hurdles to get the diagnosis and treatment sorted was the most difficult part of the journey - practically and emotionally. Once the HT started I began to feel reassured that the cancer would be controlled. Then I was scared silly about the RT but, actually, that went far better than expected. For this, I can't thank the amazing oncology team enough - they were fantastic. Our biggest problem was the daily driving to the hospital - that was very tiring. I can't advise about the surgery from a personal point of view but there are many people here who will be able to tell you about their own experiences.

We have grandchildren who were almost 15 and 13 at the time of the diagnosis. Our daughter asked us not to say anything at all to them about the cancer until we knew what was what. However, they picked something up somewhere along the line because our granddaughter asked me outright if my husband had cancer at the first opportunity. I didn't tell them any lies but tried to answer their questions honestly and in terms they could understand and with as much reassurance that I could possibly give. Our granddaughter was initially upset but once she had been told that the doctors hoped to cure her granddad she was fine. I think my message here is to give your children simple , honest facts and try to reassure them and hide your own emotional turbulence - the latter being the hardest part. 

I wish you and your family all the very best x

Thank you so much Worriedwife your reply has helped and makes me feel like I'm not alone and for letting me know how RT worked for you both.  Thanks for sharing with me about your grandchildren and how you spoke to them about the cancer.  We are going to try and make it sound as positive as we can in that it can be cured but dad might feel a bit unwell whilst they make him better (and might be a bit grumpier than he usually is ) 

I do hope your husband is well on his way to recovery.

Hi GS.

Your husband’s numbers are very similar to mine, albeit I was 54 at diagnosis.

Have a look at my profile, which details my journey. If your husband has no underlying conditions and is otherwise fit and healthy then he has every chance of making a really good recovery from surgery. I’d go as far as to say there are a number of teams, my own included, who would really advise against RT and HT.

As regards the kids, we told ours only when I was due for surgery. We saw no point in worrying them. They were both a couple of years older than your two.

Best of luck to you both.

HH

Hi I am so sorry that your husband has been diagnosed at such a young age. On diagnosis my husband was asked if we have any sons as they need to start being tested when they reach 45 as it can be hereditary. Our son is 41 next week. His son who is 15 will have an extra risk because he is mixed race and black men are twice as likely to get it. This means that I have triple worries.

If you read my profile you can see our journey down the surgery route.

Please do not make a decision about which treatment option to take based on erectile disfunction as this is a problem with all treatments to varying degrees. From what I have read those who opt for hormone therapy followed by radiotherapy not only lose the ability to have an election, but also the desire while they are taking HT and for a while afterwards and this can last for years. With surgery the desire is there, but help is needed to get and maintain an erection. 

I would strongly advise you to look at the official information on Mcmillan and Cancer Prostate UK websites and read any booklets/leaflets given by the hospital and make your decision based on which of the side effects you can both live with. Remember that it is his body and his right to choose, but as his choice will effect both of you and your children you should be involved.