Do not know how to help

Hello Alex and welcome to the club you didn't want to join.

Firstly, it is good that your partner has started HT. That will reduce testosterone levels which the cancer needs to grow. Biopsies are a pain but necessary to make a full diagnosis and to determine the best treatment.

If you could provide some statistics eg PSA, Gleason score, and any MRI or CT scan results so we can offer you the best advice and support.

You can read my journey by clicking on the picture of my cat.

Do feel free to ask any questions or concerns, there are some wonderful people on this forum who can help.

Best regards

Peter 

Hello Alex,

Sorry to hear that. Yes, it can be a whirlwind, I received a phone call out of the blue to see my doctor and after that it was just one procedure after another. They gave up sending letters because I had had the procedure before they arrived.

Yes, the biopsy sounds scary. I made the mistake of watching a YouTube video the night before mine and nearly didn’t go! All I can say is it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought and frankly, whilst I don’t want to have it done again, I wouldn’t be greatly worried if I did have to get it done again. 

Where I got mine done (the hospital that is), instead of a sedative (you do get local anaesthetic) I got a dedicated ‘hand holder’ who talks to you to take your mind off things, which I thought was really good. The procedure itself really wasn’t too bad, so I’m sure everything will be fine.

The only thing I found was I got some extremely strange coloured discharge a day or so afterwards when passing water and was scared they had punctured something. It did clear up quite soon and everything has been fine since.

Just support your partner be there for him and as I said, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

Wishing you and your partner well,

Nor6

Hi Alex

Welcome. Your partner will need you now as going on a Prostate Cancer journey for any man is a worrying journey and to be frank we men are wimps when it comes to our body!!

For me I found Mrs Millibob to be a vital link - I told  her everything my worries, what appointments were in the pipeline and what treatments I was on. She has been with me all the way and sharing the journey has helped me through everything and we are now "on the other side", the good people of this community have also been a godsend and to fill me with hope and help with my questions.

The biopsy is possibly the worst part of the journey - yes it's necessary - but you need the results to finalise the treatment plan, The only people who can truly advise on this have "been there and got the T shirt" and we are all different.

As Peter (Outdoor Walker) said above, quite rightly, click on the icon next to my name - the beach - and you can follow my journey from diagnosis to now - but remember we are all different.

If it would help your partner to have a one to one chat with someone wearing the T shirt drop me a personal message and I would be happy to reassure him.

I hope all goes well for you both.

Kind Regards

Brian.

Hi outdoor walker 

thank you . He has had a MRI which they did not tell us the results off and having PET CT this week. His PSA was 189 I believe . Gleason score I have no idea that has not been mentioned . They believe it had not spread outside of the prostate .  He’s 50 so they have said that his age is a factor (not sure if that is a positive or what that means ) . Just all flying by so fast one appointment after another ….. thank you taking the time to reply . 

Alex 

Hi Nor6 

thank you . Yes that is the case here the phone calls come in daily for this test that test the letters don’t even get chance . He was going to look at videos of how they do it but I’m glad he decided not to . Im hoping by using this forum ( he won’t do it himself ) that I can so the questions he does have give some real answers rather then internet speculation . Im there for him all the way but somehow just doesn't feel enough as nothing physical I can do . 

Thank you 

Alex 

Thank you milibob 

Thank you for sharing your story . We do talk openly about everything and I know that helps him . It certainly is a club that never thought would be in but we are in it now and will use this forum to help guide is through it with people who have worn the T-shirt so to speak . 

many thanks 

Alex 

Hi Alex.

PSA sounds high but I've seen much higher numbers on here. As I've said, hormone therapy will bring that down. Your partner's age should be a good thing if he's otherwise fit and healthy. You could ask the nurse specialist for the results of scans etc. but they usually take a couple of weeks.

Regards

Peter 

Hi Alex1234,

We had a chat about experience with the biopsy on this section ( new here ) a few down titled "Update" I don't know if you saw it, if not take a look for more info on the subject.  

It sounds like you are being looked after well because starting the hormone treatment early is good and the cancer will start to shrink back. The PSA is high but the treatment available will soon have it under control. It's possible your husband may go down a similar treatment plan as my partner as they are very close in numbers, so take a look at my profile, "click on my name".

This forum is really helpful and you will find that there's a lot of information and experiences available to read, we are all different and handle things differently, but it's a similar journey of fighting against cancer and you will always have the support and sympathetic ear of the men, wives and partners here. 

Best wishes 

L

Hi Alex,

You are already helping as you have reached out to this site, where you will find support from all the wonderful members of this forum.

My husband's psa was 1200 which is impressive , and he was put on hormone injections the very next day after which the psa reading reduced very quickly. Unfortunately, his cancer had spread and my initial reaction was anger that he had not mentioned some of the symptoms he had been suffering. I used to ask him if he had regular psa tests, and he always said that it was done at the annual review. I now know that is not the case.

His diagnosis was two years ago and at the consultation, after a physical exam, the consultant, without warning, announced that he definitely had prostate cancer and that it was advanced. This was a huge shock to both of us too. He is much older than your partner, at 78, but is doing okay, despite many other health issues.

My advice to wives and partners is to attend his appointments if possible. Not only to hold their hands and give support in that way, but also to be another pair of ears as things do get missed in consultations. You may be less emotional and able to assimilate the information a little better. At some of my husband's appointments, especially if there is a strong accent involved, he just looks at me for either the answers or sometimes even as to what the question was. I normally act as interpreter too and he can never remember what medication he is on, which I now do. If there was a GCSE exam in what meds he has been on or is on at present, I would get top marks!!

Best regards

Gina

Thank you Gina . What you have said has summed up the entire experience we have been through together so far . My initial  reaction was anger as-well as it appears he had been having symptoms for sometime and only came to light when some he could not hide any longer . I have gone and am continuing to be going to every appointment with him as he very similarly looks at me to be the translator of everything they are saying . I really wish there was more I can do as somehow just being there does not feel enough . Thank you for reaching out form the perspective of how you have found it. You sound as if you are a wonderful support to your husband and I only hope I can be to my partner in whatever way possible . 
Kind regards 

Sara