Tearful today

Hi and welcome

We’ve all gone through the emotions your feeling now, you wouldn’t be human otherwise. There’s lots of us on here who have gone through the same thing, things have moved on since I was diagnosed six years ago, they don’t use chemotherapy unless necessary, as other medication is nearly as good.

Your not on your own friend, just keep posting we will keep talking, help you through the early stages.

Stay safe

Joe

Many thanks for taking then trouble to post a reply Joe.

Hi Snapper49, I see your cancer had spread, but what is you Gleason and PSA, have you had a meeting with the MDT, the more info you provide the better the response, to see our profiles just tap the icon by our name's.

All the best Ulls 

Hi Snapper,

You may find that you will cry at nothing, I know I did.  Just the slightest thing would set me off.

I work in a predominantly male environment (but in an office by myself), and whenever I could feel the tears coming I would lock the door, not that I was embarrassed, but because others wouldn't understand.

Trying to explain to anyone not going through this is hard.  You are not alone in this, even though at times you may think it.

I'd sometimes wake up in the middle of the night crying uncontrollably.  I would try to keep quiet so I didn't wake my partner, as I didn't want to burden her and make her upset.

She said to me, why don't I keep a 'thought dairy '.  What would I write???  Now I am over half way through my 6th diary and every day now I go back to the corresponding day last year to see how I was feeling.  Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry.

It's a great release to write things down, nobody escapes my wrath, and the language...

One more thing before I go, the whole experience, Hormones and Radiotherapy have made me a better person, stronger mentally (thanks to counselling).

From not being able to admit that there was anything wrong with me and not saying anything to anyone, I can't shut up now and boy can I waffle on and on and on and on and on......  

Best of luck with your treatment.  Remember we are all here to help as best we can.

Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful reply Steve. Almost brought me to tears!! Your idea of a thought diary is appealing and something that had never occurred to me. I'm heading for W H Smith this morning! Many thanks again and so glad you are in remission.

Ian

Hi Ulls,

Many thanks for your reply. My Gleason is 4+5=9 and my PSA is now 0.52, down from 39 when first diagnosed. What is MDT? I read your profile in full and I'm very pleased you are showing such improvement. My oncologist didn't suggest radiotherapy at all, just Zoladex and Enzalutamide ad infinitum until they stop working.

Ian

Hi Ian MDT stands for multi Disciplinary Team, oncologie isn't just 1bit several specialists are involved, they have a meeting and the agreed path is what you are on.

Radiotherapy can only be done when you have been on Enzalutamide for a few months and the primary tumor is not shrinking, I was given it because I couldn't P .

This may sound odd but a Gleason of 4+5=9 is not as aggressive as a Gleason 5+4=9 according to my oncologist. Because you cancer has spread are have you been told that you are incurable but treatable.

You probably noticed on my profile in on HT for life, or what ever become available in the future.

All the best Ulls 

Ian,

I have to keep saying that it was my partner's idea, so glad I kept it going.

On this day last year I was having a nightmare, couldn't concentrate, memory was going, literally I couldn't cope.  Also had a 'PIP' tribunal over the phone.

It's great to look back, not so good at the time.