My Isolation

Hi Mike, I can understand where you’re coming from. Early days there are so many questions, thoughts and feelings, I also understand around what to say to who. As you have said some people do not have the strength to deal with difficult conversations, especially men around feelings. I was surprised who stood up and who backed away from conversations. Take things slowly. You don’t say how old your children are, Macmillan have booklets on how to speak to children,  I was also quite open with my children, they ranged from 17 through to 22 at the time of diagnosis,  I showed I was vulnerable which helped them understand why sometimes I was not the same person.  

prostrate cancer is (hopefully) a long journey, it’s worth reminding them and yourself of this. Hormone therapy does bring changes, the list is long but not every man suffers the same. My boobs are larger than they were, I’ve had breast bud radiotherapy treatment and they are sometimes sore, I’ve lost most body hair, emotions can go up and down, fatigue can be an issue.  Muscle mass can shrink. This all means there is a new normal, it’s something to come to terms with. It shows that the hormone therapy is working suppressing testosterone 

As for your questions,

1. nobody knows how long, 

2. Options are, if localised (you’ve already stated surgery not an option) radiotherapy could be

3. If more distant spread (like myself) stampede trial advises chemotherapy possibly after radiotherapy to prostrate, prostrate cancer uk have good guides on treatment, things have changed since COVID, some treatments normally reserved for later are being brought forward 

4. Riding your motorcycle, yes you will be able to, however depends on what treatment you have whether you would be wise to choose when to ride I.e don’t ride tired or emotional 

one final point, this group will not be offended by talk of boobs, erections (or lack of) or any other symptom or side effect of treatment, this forum is a place to air what you might feel you cannot express elsewhere 

John

Hi Mike 

You don't give any stats, it may be inoperable but still be curable, good news that bone scan is clear.

Do u have PSA, Gleeson etc? Have u had a MRI scan or is the CT scan the first , I know that  u r waiting on results.

As far as dealing with family and friends I took the decision to tell as few people as possible, trying to explain PC to lots of different people would have been too stressful. I realize it's a bit late for u but possibly don't continue talking about it long term unless u r asked specifically about things.  Close family obviously not included.

Best wishes

Steve

Hi Mike, you are in the correct place to find and chat about your symptoms and feelings, we understand what you are going through.

Talking about it to family and friends can be difficult, I found the best way to deal with this is understand it myself, wait for the test results if you are unsure of what has been said ask them once you have this you will be able to talk to the people you care about as you will have the answers to their questions, I did not tell anyone about my diagnosis till 3 weeks after as I wanted to find out what it was all about, Now I have the support needed from my close friends and my family and I find it easier to talk about it,

I am on Hormone treatment and don't worry you will still be you yes, your body will change Hot flushes and sweats etc but as Youngman says it s not the same for everyone we are all different.

So research,ask questions once you know what is going on with your self you will find it easier to talk about it the people on here are great they have helped me cope with my feelings and also offered advice  Macmillan , Prostrate Cancer UK are great places to start The on line chat with the Macmillan Nurses are also a good place to go but please do not goggle your symptoms this will scare you use google for explanations about medication only.

Welcome to our group we will not be offended about what you say or want to chat about, we are all going through or have been through how you are feeling now wee are in this together

Chris 

Mike In a Village said:

Whats the best way of talking about this with close family or friends?  Saying - just be honest - wouldnt work because it wont help my kids to understand their dad is afraid.In my opinion.

It does depend a little on how old the kids are, but in general, honesty really is for the best. Obviously you have your fears and anxieties - but so do your loved ones; and everyone keeping that in an ominous silence really helps no-one.

Friends may well be supportive - but if they don't know how you feel, how can they help? How can they be anything other than tongue-tied and embarrassed?

Honesty helps people to help you.

Hi Mike

It is tough at first. After the diagnosis I used to cry all the way to work. Dark November mornings. That was nearly five years ago. It gets easier.

I was honest with my partner and our children. All seemed to accept it. I have also told my brother and two old school friends that I see two or three times a year. The only other people I have told are fellow cancer sufferers. I neither conceal nor boast of my condition.

My father also had PCa. He lived for many years after the diagnosis. Eventually dying from a heart attack. At one of the Oncology sessions I met someone who'd had PCa for nigh on twenty years.

This is the club that nobody wants to be in but there are good people in here with wise words.

Good luck.

I would like to thank all of you for kind, informative and supportive feedback.  Made me feel a lot better.  I am lucky to have found this forum and glad to have come in contact with you all.  Will update the form when I get more feedback from the oncologist.  Stay well and thanks again.