My husband has been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and I am online seeking advice and emotional support

My husband is at present in hospital having been diagnosed with PC in January this year.  He is undergoing Immunotherapy and after the second treatment his need to pee has become much worse.  He is not able to get to the toilet in time and so reluctant to wear incontinent pants.

He is 82yrs and a diabetic.

I am wondering how to cope with his needs when he comes home from hospital.  

My husband thinks there is a cure for his incontinence.  

Anyone on this forum/blog who has any words of advice?

  • Hi

    Usually they will fit a catheter to people who need the toilet all the time, hopefully they will do that. 
    Now for your problems young lady, coping with cancer affects everyone in the family and close friends, if they have never dealt with it before, it’s hard for them to understand what the strains and stresses of the partner goes through.
    For instance my wife who is my carer, has seen me go through many scans, appoints, taken into hospital, has watched unable to do anything but sit and watch, as sometimes I was in tremendous pain. She worries about everything I do in case I fall or worse, always worrying. I have two sisters and two daughters who rely on my wife for my welfare ( more pressure ) 

    People do not realise that without the help from you good ladies, we would be alone and without help. Your positivity keeps us going, in my case nearly five years. For real help you can phone McMillan nurses their excellent, but just keep coming here lots of people will talk to you give advice help.

    Stay safe Take care to you both.


  • Hello Isteri.

    As said above, a catheter might be fitted. As for incontinence pants (and possibly pads?), which your husband does not want, that's very understandable. However I wore pads for a while after surgery and to be honest I found I just got used to them. You may find that what solution your husband has, though he may not be at all keen at first, becomes less of an issue for him as a couple of weeks go by. I hope so anyway.

    Hope it all works out well for you both.


  • Hi Isteri, I’m so sorry to hear about the struggle that you both have at the moment. 
    it’s very hard to watch someone you love suffer and be unable to do much other than listen, talk and a few practicalities. 
    my husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer 2 years ago and it’s been an uphill journey. 
    I try to support him emotionally, but how I feel  inside is another matter. 
    these are not really very useful words, but all I can say to you is try to be strong for your husband and kind to yourself. 
    I really hope you get things sorted. 
    take care. 
    Rish x