Hello, looking for some advice....as many of you know i am usually really positive with my posts and most of the time that is exactly where I am at.....but when worries about the future creep in, I struggle to shake it off and it can take me days to pick myself up.
Paul is doing amazing, our story is up to date in our profile and we are living an amazing life right now.....but, as I sit here writing this, we are in Fuerteventura on holiday, we are making the most out of life, yet some days I look at paul and feel conpletely overwhelmed about the prospect of losing him. We have only been together 5 years, we found each other by accident but are honestly conplete soul mates.....sometimes I struggle to connect and engage because I feel so sad about a future which hasnt happened.
Being with someone who has stage 4 cancer and who I will no doubt watch die terrifies me.
I have met new friends through this diagnosis, Rooky , she has been amazing, we have also met some ladies who have recently lost their partners and they all provide me with comfort and I feel less alone.
Is there anything else I could be doing? 6 months post diagnosis and I want to, need to be strong to support him through every step
Hello Polly (Polly1912 )
You know me - you don't need to do anything. Life is good, you are enjoying life and making memories and making the most of what you have. You both have a positive attitude and the medication is working.
Stage 4 is treatable - not curable. You need to carry on with life and enjoy it to the full, try not to worry about the future - you both work in the NHS so will be aware people die much younger than you two are.
Life is unpredictable, we have Stage 4 Community members diagnosed over 10 years ago still going strong and treatments are improving month in month out.
Yes, you are supporting Paul through every step - and he's there for you too.
Be thankful, every morning you wake up it's the next day of your life - carry on enjoying it.
Don't dwell on the negatives - think of a long term future and all the positives.
You can and will do this!!
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
Thank you Millibob your words make total sense, I just need to keep reminding myself of this every day.
Its great to read your news too, all these wins are really positive, provide hope
Hello Polly (Polly1912 )
If you read my journey at Christmas 2021 I was in hospital with a PSA of 182 and an eGFR of 8 (kidney function should be at least 60!!).
Talk about a wake up call - life changed, I got myself home after the New Year and realised I was taking everything for granted. I look back and thank the NHS that I am still here and to me every day is a bonus.
Technically I am a T3aN0M0 - with a PSA of 182 everyone expected multiple mets and yet here I am trying still for a curative pathway - Paul has the right team, he's got the right treatment, and he has your support. I have Mrs M behind me in our 47th year of marriage - Life is amazing, grab it by the bal*s and enjoy it.
WE can do this.
Enjoy the holiday 
(I've just booked flights to Turkey in late February!)
Kind Regards - Brian
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
