Erectile dysfunction

Good morning Lee from a wife so I will give you the gist from the other side. My husband is in hormone therapy for life so no longer has the inclination to have sex and certainly all his equipment has shrunk and no longer functions BUT we are closer now than we have ever been. Our relationship is a two way dialogue of give and take underpinned by honesty and love. The technique of getting an erection is only part of the physical side of a relationship and as long as you learn what pleases your partner and have fun doing it then I would hope that it wouldn't make any difference to them. If you feel that you want to progress to a physical relationship with a lady friend then I presume they already know that you have been treated for cancer and are now in remission. It would be a small step to explain that it has created a small change in how you achieve penetration. My husband is not defined by his ability to have sex, it is by his demonstration of love, friendship , kindness, care and support that he shows me every day. Fear of the unknown is usually worse than the actuality so boost your confidence and let the relationship progress naturally but be honest when the time comes to be more intimate.

1. Thamkyou so much for that it's a huge help and I will take what you said on board thankyou.

Hello Godbless 

I am so sorry to read this is an ongoing problem. I remember you posting about it before and just in case you didn't see the replies to your original post here's a link:

 RE: ED 

As a man who has been married for over 45 years and now due to Hormone Therapy can't get an erection, I don't have the experience or knowledge to reply to your question however I feel the reply above and the replies in the link I have given you should help you to navigate this issue.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Lee (Godbless ), I think we have spoken before, but welcome anyway.  I don’t know what age you are, but as you get older, sex generally becomes less necessary in a relationship.  I was 67 when I first started on HT and up to then sex had been an important part of my life.  However once the HT kicked in not only could I physically not manage an erection, but my sex drive also evaporated.  At the start, I was anxious about this, but soon realised that my OH wasn’t that bothered and it is now a bit of a joke that I think she is secretly pleased!  If you are honest at the start of a relationship, you might find it isn’t a big problem.  Hope this helps.  David

Thank you david that's comforting to know thankyou