Brother just diagnosed

Hi BG

No , just because outside the gland does not mean it is aggressive, as Brian has said it all  now depends on the biopsy results to confirm 

But even if it turns out to be aggressive it is still potentially curable although vital to get him on HT to slow/stop any more growth/spread.

Good luck for this week 

Steve 

Hi Bg65 sorry your brother has PCa.  The biopsy results will provide a Gleason score to show how aggressive the cancer is.  In my case it was G9 which is aggressive and I was also T3bN1, that was 7 years ago.  Please ask any questions and we will do our best.  David

Hi David 

thank you so much for your message this has given me so much hope and reassurance I really appreciate it . Thank god for this forum it has answered so many questions for me I have relayed all this to my brother as he isn’t quite ready to come on he’s still processing everything . He does tell me to thank everyone for taking the time to reply to me and help us at this difficult time so thank you David .

bg 

Don't ever feel silly! Sorry if you've mentioned this but are you a sister or a brother? Not that it matters really as the anxiety is the same.

I'm a wife and about the same stage as your brother for my husband although we haven't had the biopsy results yet.

One thing I've discovered already is that we can interpret words in a non medical way and draw much worse conclusions than necessary eg at the initial consultation after MRI results arrived (it was assumed it was a bladder problem so before the appointment I spent hours researching bladder cancer needlessly!) the consultant used the word 'advanced' which in my head meant beyond hope, everywhere in my husband's body, days to live etc etc (OK I'm exaggerating a bit) whereas although not the best news actually means that it's a bit further along than if it was restricted to the prostate only, rather than it's the worst PC ever. I realised how futile it was to anticipate the future especially with my non medical brain and now I'm trying to only digest the very next bit of this journey as it comes. That doesn't mean do no research at all but try not to leap into the worst case scenario which might not happen, or be far in the future if it does. It is clear that PC is very treatable, and even if it can't be cured it can be controlled for a long time. Take heart! Best wishes for the next bit of this journey for your lovely brother.

Hi Ally 

thank you so much for your reply I really appreciate it made me feel so much better . I am exactly the same I think advanced then I’m going into meltdown thinking this is it it’s gone to far when ifact it doesn’t mean that . I’m a constant worrier and think the worst constantly. My brother is different he’s very of the oppiinion I’m gonna beat this and very possitive which is the right attitude  just can’t help it that’s my personality . This forum and all you lovely people has eased so many of my worries and from the bottom of my heart thank you 

BG

Hi Alwayshope

thank you so much for your reply I really do appreciate it and I will download the book thank you . 
you’ve explained everything to me in a way I understand and this helps so much with all the stuff out there that boggles my brain. So pleased I joined this forum it’s given me so much hope and people like you and everyone else on this wonderful site have been amazing in making me feel so much better 

thank you

BG 

Hi BG65.

Receiving a cancer diagnosis is extremely frightening for both he/she who receives it and no less so for all those that genuinely care for that person. The nature and intensity of that emotion varies hugely from diagnosis to diagnosis, and personality type to personality type. It also varies considerably according to both parties' previous experiences of cancer. Your feelings of helplessness are perhaps the most typical AND totally understandable. Take care! And much love to both of you. xx

Thank you Jonathan such lovely words that are so appreciated 

Bg

 Bg65 I forgot to mention that 7 years ago my consultant explained I would be on palliative care.  As you can imagine that freaked me out until I realised that the medics use palliative care to mean no cure available.  Quite different to hospice end of life which I immediately imagined.  On this site we try and use curative or treatable.  I think there are some quite long term treatables but running alongside this is quality of life.  To most of us, life is good.  Stay positive, it helps no end.  David