Husband won't tell family he has cancer.

Hi Doris

I was diagnosed in 2013 and I only told 2 close friends and of course my partner. I have no kids.

I told my brother about 3 years ago.

Prostate cancer can be complicated and the thought of trying to explain it all with different treatments to family members didn't encourage me.

If u have kids perhaps u could tell them but if he doesn't want to I think I understand.

If he is now cured then it doesn't really matter anyway so try not to think about.

Best wishes 

Steve 

Hello Doris (Dorisw) 

i am so sorry to read of your issues - sadly it's his diagnosis and his choice.

* First off he's missed out on some very important support, not only for him but for you too.

* If you have any children and he has any family it's important they know of his diagnosis as their chances of cancer are very much increased.

I suggest you give our Support Line a call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) - I am sure they can help.

Best wishes - Brian.

Totally agree with Millibob here.  If he has any close male relatives - father, brothers, sons, grandsons, nephews (especially if they are his brother's sons) they need to know as they are, I believe 3 times more likely to get prostate cancer now they have a close relative with prostate cancer and it is imperative that they get their PSA testing done regularly as prostate cancer caught early is curable.  Even if he has no close relatives it is essential to spread the case for having regular PSA testing for all men from age 45 on for the very same reason testing means that prostate cancer can be caught earlier and therefore be cured.  The first people I told were my sons and nephews and they all had earlier testing and regular testing from then on and their sons will when they are older - especially as my Father also died with prostate cancer - not of prostate cancer.  Since then my younger brother had an early diagnosis - at about the same age I was diagnosed but and was diagnosed earlier so had brachytherapy and now like me is, to all intents and purposes cured 6 years post treatment with undetectable PSA as I am 10 years on too after Hormone Treatment and Radiotherapy.

Sadly not sure about a cure. Has gleeson 9 aggressive cancer so after drugs stop it is a sit and hope it doesn't come back situation.

My thinking was now was good time as in remission and it may not come back. But they are aware if it does.

He has nephew but no children

Gleeson 9 certainly doesn't mean the end

U don't say if cancer was contained in the gland

but assuming it was then Def potentially curable.

Ok, so if no kids then as far as you are concerned just forget about it otherwise it'll do your head in, not worth it.

Forget about it and try and re-establish a decent relationship with your OH

Best wishes

Steve 

Hi Doris Dorisw 

My OH was diagnosed last year and was adamant that nobody be told . I ran along with his decision for a while but it ended up I wasn’t coping .  We have two children and grandchildren and they were noticing he was loosing weight and grumpy . Our daughter especially asked right out  what’s going on ?  So we ended up getting our two together and told them . It actually helped it was a weight off my shoulders but also my OH.  We had never kept things from them before and they knew by our body language . 

We attend our local Maggie Centre and this has allowed both of us to air our views without it becoming angry . This has made a huge difference as it’s life changing not just for OH but for partners, wife’s etc . 

it might be worth even you going to your local Maggie Centre as they have councillors who you can speak to in confidence as it might help you going forward. 

OH knows I’m on this forum and  now asks what people are discussing.

our next big step is he is thinking about going to a PC seminar . I said oh you might see someone you know . Mmm I will deal with it if it happens . So I’m surprised.  

best wishes & hugs 

Liz & OH xx

That's the thing body language..I not very good at keeping secrets  I just end up not saying anything.  It's difficult keeping the 'secret' so i just avoid seeing them.

I'd love to share the worrying 

But I  not allowed.

Dx

I can sort of relate , Im just starting my journey now ,

I did tell my brother and boys for their own health. , obv mrs knew.  I also cant decide whether to go public or keep it locked up.

Maybe its a Bloke thing,.Personally I`ve always been a bloke that wants "no fuss"  Although this forum is in a way annonymous it made it easier for me to ask other "club members" questions and opinions.

  I wish you guys well whatever path you take. 

I told everyone and put it all over social media trying to get people to get tested asap

I told all my pals to get tested ,...but not why...