New symptoms

Hi Anthony5, and a warm welcome to the forum, though I'm sorry you have to be here , your thoughts and feelings are perfectly normal, and it's usual to think every new ache and pain is related, but your consultant's DRE exam showing your prostate to be smooth and unbroken, would suggest any cancer is still contained in the prostate, it's a really difficult thing to talk about, you want to be open and honest with your partner, but don't want to upset them unnecessarily, maybe you should let your wife initiate  these conversations,  I know it isn't easy being positive all the time, but exercise really does help, whatever you like doing, it doesn't matter,  just walking,  cycling,  swimming or gym training will help you emotionally and help you cope, best wishes with your scan and biopsy.

Eddie 

Good Morning Antony (Anthony5) 

You are starting on the hardest part of your cancer journey - the diagnostic and start of treatment part. Once over this things will settle down to your "new normal", but at this time your emotions are everywhere, I just wanted to cry and tell everyone how I felt!!

Here's a few tips that may help you along:

* Here's a link to some information we have at Macmillan-

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/treatment/coping-with-treatment/talking-therapies

* Here's a link to our support centre in Belfast at the City Hospital

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/in-your-area/local-dashboard/detail/Information%20and%20support%20centres/7803/Macmillan-Information-and-Support-Centre-Belfast-City-Hospital

* On the Community we have an emotional support group you may want to join and again here's the link-

Emotional support forum 

* There's our Support line. It's a free call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week). Give them a call - they will be able to offer you plenty of support and information.

One fact I always remember is that 98% of men with prostate cancer die WITH it not OF it.

I hope the above helps, if I can do anything else for you don't hesitate to contact me.

Best wishes - Brian.

Eddiel, thank you for your advice and kindness. Yeah, good idea with the exercise, as we have an exercise bike just sitting there! Thanks again.

Brian, many thanks again. I felt a bit silly just after I posted last night, as I was in a panic. Then I realised, there are many people on this site who are in a much more serious situation than me, and I felt guilty. Thank you so much for the help lines and especially the City hospital one. Once again, thank you.

Tony.

Hello Tony (Anthony5) 

It's no problem and don't worry about feeling silly. We have all been where you are now and pre diagnosis and treatment it's a hard journey.

Stick with us, we are happy to answer any questions and nothing is too trivial. You can also use us to vent your feelings (rather than worry your wife) .

We are one big family here, we understand just where you are at this time.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Anthony5,

It's odd that a simple question as to whether you have any other pains to which you have answered no, can come back & bite you on the bum, as it then starts you off noticing every little thing that previously you wouldn't have taken any notice of.  I'm sure that most of the guys on here have felt the same & can empathise with you, but rest assured it's an entirely normal reaction to the situation you find yourself in.

Millibob has given you some excellent links for support, & it's important that you are able to voice any thoughts or concerns you may have, so don't forget there is a great big network of people on here who have been through (or are going through) similar journeys & are more than willing to listen to any questions (no matter how obscure they may seem) & support you. 

Best Wishes

Brian

Hello Anthony, I’m sorry to read about your very real and natural worries right now. Please don’t feel ‘silly’. We all., wives included, react to the news that a cancer diagnosis is possible or certain! It scares us silly. I spent months and months in total disarray and floods of tears when we were going through the diagnostics. My husband completely withdrew within himself and refused to engage with what was going on - even to the extent of not talking to the medical team!!! We are allowed to have these emotions!!!  we are human, after all!

What most of us have found is that once all the diagnostics are completed and we have a complete picture of the problem and the treatment plan, these emotions do settle. Life is never quite the same again but, paradoxically, it does seem to often turn out to be better as our priorities change and we realise that what is important is the ‘here and now’ rather than what might or might not be. A lot of us have also found that it has made us appreciate our partners more and that we are closer than ever!

I do wish you well and hope all goes smoothly for you!

Brian, thank you so much for your reply. Sometimes I feel so guilty when I post things and then think about the many people on this site who are truly suffering. Your support and kindness is really appreciated. 
Tony

Worried wife, thanks for your kind words. You’re absolutely right about appreciating my partner more. My wife was diagnosed last month with pressure on the heart, and  close to non alcoholic liver failure. She uses a CPAP machine every night. So yeah, it does bring us closer. Thank you again for your support.

Hi Tony (Anthony5 ), all your reactions are quite normal and we have all been through them.  Since my diagnosis every pain is viewed with a different filter and my first reaction to anything is cancer related. Try and remain positive and keep life normal.  I hope you get the appointments and results quickly so that you know exactly what you are dealing with. Have a good Christmas. David