When should we worry?

Yes it is . You get real information from guys who know better than most as it’s thrm going through it xx

Just to add a response from the point of view of someone who is just a little ahead of you in the diagnosis and treatment process.

I want to tell you that, prior to this week I have had huge problems sleeping, and regularly have had panic attacks which occurred as the word "cancer" shot through my mind. It is not at all fun, and is somehow a fear that I couldn't describe.

One of the first pieces of advice I found was to know as much about your illness and its treatment as you could. I found gathering that knowledge both helped and was a trial. I had to assemble pieces over a period so that they didn't cause me to despair.

I always felt that I would deal with this better once I had a plan, and now I have. It may be that your husband will as well.

Two things that may offer some help as examples.

I have a friend who, after received chemotherapy, radiotherapy and an an operation for breast cancer, drove home last week whilst having a stroke. She was in more immediate danger from that than she was ever likely to be with the cancer. The stroke was a small one, she has fully recovered, and it was not connected in any way with the cancer. It did make her assess the cancer treatment as being less troublesome than before. Prostate cancer is, generally, not immediately life threatening in that same way.

I have another (male) friend diagnosed with stage four metastatic prostate cancer in December 2021. He is on hormone therapy. He volunteers for 5 different charities (one each working day of the week), is the Chairman of Governors for a local primary school, and on Sunday's and some evenings is active with the Salvation Army. I hold him great affection, look up to him, and think he's mad.

mstev2 said:

look up to him, and think he's mad.

Just sometime it helps a little with this cancer.

As you are no doubt aware by now there is a streak of humour running through this Community,, "sunbed" has replaced radiotherapy and "walkabout" has replaced metastatic. Quite often we lose the main topic of a thread, so much so we have a thread for anything else:

 No Specific Topic 

I know Prostate Cancer as with any cancer can get you down at times and if we can make life "lighter" and remove some of the "problems" then that's half the battle.

We do know when to be serious though.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hello Amanda

im sorry for being late to reply and sorry to read that you are both experiencing so much anxiety. If it is any comfort, I used to have two words screaming in my brain, ‘prostate cancer’.  As others have said, you will , in time,, settle into this new normal but it’s horrible when you are at the beginning of this journey, I know. 

you ask when you should worry. Your husband will be carefully monitored to see how well he is responding to treatment for the cancer. As far as other potential illnesses go, nothing has changed. If you are in England, you can contact your surgery, pharmacy or NHS111 for advice. For anything you think more serious you can dial 999 or attend an urgent care or urgent treatment centre or hospital emergency department.  We were also given telephone numbers for the prostate cancer nursing team and the oncology department. You are never far from help and support!

we hear constantly that our NHS is broken. Well, in April I found my husband at the point of collapse in the bathroom. I managed to get him to the bed. I took his blood pressure, oxygen levels and pulse rate ( note to self - must get a thermometer) the readings were not good! We live 25 miles from our nearest ED. Depending on traffic, it can take up to 2 hours to get there and get parked. I phone NHS111. They called an ambulance. The ambulance crew did some checks and scooped him up into the ambulance. At the hospital he was pushed to the top of the queue. Within just over an hour from my call to NHS111 he was having a CT scan to rule out a stroke. The system does work- thankfully! (The problem was an extreme reaction to some newly prescribed drugs for another health problem)

I think you need to make sure you have the necessary equipment to do this essential basic monitoring and that you know what ‘normal’ is. You will find this re.assuring and also it will provide you and any health service you contact with indications of illness severity.

Another thought…. At a ripe old age, I am, for the first time ever, suffering with mild hay fever this spring/ summer. Could your husband be having symptoms of that?

Finally, I am wondering too whether your husband is reacting emotionally to his diagnosis and needs professional help? The hormone therapy will also likely be changing his emotional responses. His blocked nurse could be a symptom of feeling ‘suffocated’ by what is happening to him? He is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety just as us wives are? My symptoms were floods of tears and those words screaming in my head. My husbands were to completely withdraw within himself and refusing to discuss the PC with anybody - including me and the doctors! We all respond in our own unique ways and no way is right or wrong - it’s a horrible time but things do settle!

best of luck! Xxx

 Worriedwife , brilliant post.  Hard to explain, but it does all get easier.  David

Right on the nail as always . Thank you for a very understandable post .

regards 

Liz x

Thank you 

Your post both gave me comfort and made me laugh!

X

Love this, thank you so much!

Great advice re purchasing my own items to be able to monitor him as well...I am going to do that.

I.am.so glad your OH got the help he needed when he needed it and that it was solved

X

Thank you David.

Seeing from this forum that we are not alone really helps.

Thank you for this post, at the moment we are overwhelmed with worries, my husband is coping well with the chemo but the steroid induced diabetes is getting him down as we can't get on top of it he has been told to take 1 extra tablet aday but the figures are just up and down, this is making him really  grumpy and the mood swings aren't good.

He also has 2 appointments next week 1 for his spine and 1 for a dermatologist for a cancer check on the head.

I suffer from PTSD because of my childhood and take it all personally which doesn't help and yes prostate cancer is going round and round in your head all the time.

Reading this post has helped thank you