Pads and what you need to know

Hi All,

Six months on and I remain totally incontinent apart from when I'm asleep, and then it's only partial.  My brother has also been diagnosed with prostate cancer but is going down the HT, Turp and RT route.  The Turp is on Saturday and he has been warned about possible water problems and asked me for advice about incontinence pads.  So I thought I would share my experiences of a variety of products: I've listed them as the 5 "C"s.

But first: coping with incontinence is at least a 4-way compromise.  I guess the first thing to consider is the degree of your inContinence and the quantity and rate at which you produce urine.  I typically use 8 pads a day.  Apparently, most people produce 1 - 2 litres a day.  Please don't make a simple calculation of 2 litres a day therefore I will need 3No. 700ml pads each day because the next thing to think about is Comfort.  Higher absorbency pads invariably seem to be bulkier and what I think of as a "front and back" pad which then means you have to accommodate the neck of the pad (maybe 10cm) between your legs.  Of course, it does mean you can improve your John Wayne impersonation.  The "codpiece" type of pad is by its triangular design narrower at the base than the "front and back" design and so a more comfortable product to wear.  Comfort has another aspect which is related to your tolerance for marinating in your own wee.  I find this is greater for the "front to back" designs.  Partly this is due to their higher Capacity (or absorbency) but also due to their extra width between your legs which means you maintain a drier crotch for longer.  Which bring us to Capacity (or absorbency). Don't think that a pad will absorb the amount of wee as the stated absorbency.  I don't know how manufacturers measure this but in my own tests I could only achieve a similar figure by soaking a pad in water for a short while.  Believe me, by this time the Comfort test has been failed a long time before this state is reached.  Also, in my experience a pad of 3 times absorbency does not absorb 3 times as much wee before the Comfort test is again failed.  I have found that a 1900ml pad lasts only 50% longer than a 700ml pad.  For night-time I wear an incontinence pant purely for comfort.

We're finished with the pads themselves but there are still 2 more "C"s to go.  The first is the Confidence you have in the pad to perform to your expectations.  For me a 700ml pad lasts 2 hours whereas the 1900ml pad lasts 3 hours; any longer and I risk an accident.  This means I seldom leave the house for longer than 2 hours without carrying spare pads, knickers and, for a night out, spare trousers.  In the latter case I have started using a penile clamp but I must still visit the loo every hour.  And finally, Containment.  All these wet pads have to go somewhere whether at home or in the big wide world.  So, in my bag I also carry "scented disposal diaper sacks".  At home I have a dedicated waste bin complete with a lid and deodorant block.  Think 7 binfuls a week and then the extra demand on your wheelie bin!

So to summarise: think degree of inContinence, Comfort, Capacity, Confidence and Containment.

I hope this is of use to members about to embark on the initial post-intervention phase of their journey.  I also hope it is shorter than mine.  I have not listed the actual products I use because it's probably not appropriate in a public forum.  However, if you want to know then please send me a direct message and I'll oblige.  I won't list those which have not worked for me.