Pads or pants

It’s a journey . Best for me were the Tena disposable pants , though they are quite expensive . I’ve worked my way to washable Tena boxers for light leaks. Probably use Tena level 3 and level 2 as you improve . Bill

Hi Staypos. I tried the disposable Tena disposable pants but didn't like them. I stuck with Tena pads. My other half bought me some washable Tena boxers and to begin with I used them in conjunction with pads as a belts and braces solution. Like Bill (11 months post op) I have generally just been using the washable boxers for a couple on months now. I have six pairs on the go to allow for changing once a day and washing them. I do sometimes also put a pad on if I am going out for the day.  I've tried quite a few other makes but found Tena  to be the most expensive but the best. Not knowing how you will be, I would suggest getting some Level 3. I had to change 3 or 4 times a day initially. Suggest you look online and get in bulk, iIf like me you find you will need quite a lot. Some men don't have a problem at all and you may be one of those lucky ones. Boots do regular good deals but there are other cheaper suppliers. I would suggest you put a lot of effert into do pelvic floor exercises from now on (except when you have the cathetor). I wish I had prior to my op. Also think about getting a plastic urine bottle if you find you leak badly when standing up and also to generally help if you go out in a car. (I used an empty coffee jar to begin with just to see how I got on). Also see if you can get pants or pads on the NHS. I know some have been able to. You may need to see an incontinence nurse to arrange a prescription. Hope the op goes well for you. I found it a hundred times better than what I expected. Keep us posted on how you get on.

Hello staypos. I was referred to the NHS continence service and they sent me samples. They were bulky and uncomfortable and was informed I would have to buy my own if I didn't want theirs. I tried Tena but too expensive as need them continuously. I found the ones I use at Lidl. They are called 'Siempre discreet' and I get the 'Extra' ones, 12 in a pack and £1.39 per pack. Good value and are comfortable and attach to underwear with one side sticking. Have used them for over a year and have done the job. 

My husband had his op nearly 5 weeks ago and I contacted Prostate Cancer UK and asked for a sample pack that comes in a black draw string bag. It had tena shields and another brand, a box of zipper plastic bags to put the used pads in and some wipes. I also did some research on line for the best suppliers and I found a company called Incontinence Choice and I bought a pack of each of Vivactive  shaped pads maxi, vivactive Pants Night time maxi and Vivactive Shaped pads night time maxi. My husband prefers the pants because he was finding it difficult to stop the pads moving and he had some leakage from the sides. I have since ordered some mesh pants to wear over the pads and they have helped to keep them more secure. I have done another order for the night time pants and some black maxi pants for the day time. I have set up a subscription for them as they give a 10% discount. 

At the moment the tena ones aren't suitable as they aren't big enough or absorbent enough, but hopefully in time they will be. He was also referred to the community continence service and they sent him a years supply of the tena shields.

Another thing to remember is whether you use pads or pants your wheely bin will fill up quickly. I contacted our local council to ask about disposal as I wasn't sure if they were classed as clinical waste, which they collect separately in yellow bags. They advised that they can go in the normal waste, but as volume could be an issue they would provide us with an extra bin.

Another thing my husband experienced when he still had his catheter in was some leakage where it left his body so I got him some of Asda own brand pants to help contain it. It worked to a degree but because the catheter tube came out of the leg of the pants it created a slight gap and there was still a little leakage.

Hi GR1

Bit of a general reply this - I have been following your posts and your other half has been through the mill with the surgery - but you now appear to be well organised and in total control.

I was reading about what you said about being up in the night for the toilet. I have gone down the HT/RT route and after the RT was completed I was up 5/6 times in the night. 6 months post RT I am still up 2/3 times but hey-ho, I put part of it down to old age as well.

I do think your posts are a great help to post surgery members of the club and your other half is lucky to have you looking after him!  Keep up the great work!

Best wishes

Brian.

Bless you Brian

I am one of those people who can handle a situation better if I know what I am dealing with so I can be well prepared for every scenario. I was given a lecture by my brother and told to stay off the internet, as it would scare me and I promised that I would, while knowing full well that I would ignore him, as it is an invaluable source of information if used wisely.

As most of our friends have gone into hiding and all our family are up North (both sides of the Pennines), platforms like this are a source of comfort as it appears that only those who are going through or have gone through similar experiences know how to help and what to say. At the start we had all the usual 'let us know if you need anything' but the one and only time I took someone up on this I didn't even get a response to my message. 

I was talking to my husband a few days ago and saying that he should think about attending a prostate cancer group as this could be a way of finding new friends, who really understand and won't go into hiding. It's not for him though and he won't even join McMillian Support. 

I try to be strong but it is hard when there are just the 2 of us, so thank you once again for your support. I have to admit you brought a tear to my eye this morning.

Kind regards

Georgina

Thanks for advice! 

Hi Georgina

It's people like you we need on here. When I was diagnosed 19 months ago even though I am married to a nurse, we still had to fight for information.

I came on here and found support and had all my questions answered and I knew just where I was going, what to ask and how to get through this cancer - those good people are still here and I thought I would put back in what I had out. I don't want any man to go through PC without any help.

As you quite rightly say, people go into hiding and the only people who can help are those who have been there, done that, are partners or some of the medical profession. Many men don't want to know, you have seen how many wives, and partners are here asking for help. We all think we are strong until the DRE and we get the bad news!!!!!

My wife knows me and I knew I would fight the cancer and research into it as much as I could - she says I know more about PC than I do about my football team and I know more about it then my GP! He asks me about my treatment!

It's great you are here for your husband and us men in general - Thank you and stick with us.

I will join you in a tear or two (well I am on the Manopause so I cry for England anyway!)

Best Wishes

Brian.

Thanks for advice and encouragement! 

Yeah big it up for us wives. We know our husbands better than they know themselves. In fact I suspected that my husband had a problem with his prostate for some time and nagged him to get it checked out.  Although not a nurse I was aware of the symptoms, but you can only lead a horse to water and can't make them drink.

My husband doesn't do his own research into most things as he is an ostrich, so it is my duty to do it and impart my new found wisdom to him. Most of the time it goes in one ear and out the other, but I've got used to that after 53 years. I think he's a keeper though.