Brian's last sunbed day

Happy birthday, Steve!  Have a good day!

Hi WW - You have nailed it - that's just the issue - yes, I do feel in the wilderness!! - Thank you.- I look in my diary and there are no appointments - no waiting results - blank pages. That's great - I will accept that after 14 months I am almost there.

Brian.

Yes I found things "different" after finishing treatment.  The fatigue hadn't really hit me before - probably too much to do with basically moving house every weekend to travel to the centre to stay there for the week for treatment.  It wasn't helped I think that I finished my treatment at the end of January so still short chilly days when you feel a bit down any way and don't want tpo get out and do things.  So for about a month I really felt a bit like a zombie - just doing very little and not always going to the gym as I had all the time before.  Just doing the actions but as if I wasn't really there.   Still my wife cajoled me into getting around to doing all the normal things and by March I was starting to enjoy going to the gym and didn't see it as a chore and in mid April was doing a sponsored bike ride.  Still tending to "nod off" in the chair after lunch if I was left to do so.  I also did a 6 week course with Maggie's centre on getting fit after treatment so I think that helped.  that was the one thing I kept doing and wanted to do was go to Maggies and see all my "brothers in arms" so to speak"  and I did look forward to every other Wednesday afternoon.

All the best

That's me in a nutshell. It's the end of January also. Mrs Millibob is keeping me busy and well - I have never fancied a gym!! But - thanks for the input - It's good to know it's not just me.

Brian.

No really i would have just sat down staring into space if I had been left to do so - and sometimes managed to - of course then I would fall asleep.  I couldn't really "put my heart " into doing anything.  The good bit about going to the gym was that I talked to other people and socialising is good for you - once you can push yourself out there again.  Being British we all say we are not to bad and have a laugh about something probably quite serious and after having a few laughs and chats to people you do feel a bit more human.

You’ll get there!! Just give yourself a bit of time. The last 14 months have been a time of fright, flight or fight. Now is the time to let go just a bit of these very natural instincts but it will take time. you don’t walk away from a bad car crash without mental trauma so I guess you don’t walk away from cancer without a similar reaction?  start filling that empty diary up with some things you really enjoy rather than medical appointments!  Afternoon cream teas for two?!! Trips to the cinema? Day trips out?  holidays?

I have forewarned my husband about this potential reaction several times 

so, I’m standing by to hear about your first foray into the post cancer world can’t wait to hear about the venture!!!

Brian, you should write a diary.  I've been writing mine from day one, now I am so glad I kept it going.

WW, Brian, the whole Cancer experience has made me into a better person.  My empathy levels are through the roof.

Nothing daunts me, I can talk about anything and everything,  no subject is taboo, nothing is embarrassing.

Steve & WW - Thanks for the input - I read quite a good article about post treatment feelings on Maggies webby thing. Ours has a general men's session on a Tuesday - I might pop along.

A diary - well I have put my journey up for all to see - that's a start for me and yes Steve you are quite right about empathy, being a better person and yes - I can talk the hind legs off a donkey!! Yes I can chill as well!

WW - I have been a good boy and listened to you - I have booked me an Mrs Millibob and Henry and Toby our two dogs a weeks holiday up there in the north (Northumberland) today. Rented a little place for a weeks R & R for the first full week in March -we need it after what we've been through!

Happy cancer free days - well 2 more years on hormones so I can still use that as an excuse!!

Thanks all - Brian.

Wow! That’s fantastic news ! I hope you have a great week. I’ve never been to Northumberland but I told it’s beautiful up there. You sure do need it!  Enjoy!