Not eating

They could be right though

With my Mum we were told when asked things like when is Dad coming home to just say he will be back later - he's working late or gone to see a friend.  Other ones would be when is Brian getting back from school - he's away on a trip or something would usually do the trick.  Usually people with dementia just accept this and are then onto the next thing.  Same with any other weird things just say Oh really I wonder why that is and just carry on - so much less stressful than explaining every time - especially the death of your father which would upset both of you when the whole situation is upsetting enough.  Never tell them they are wrong, dreaming or anything like that just agree. 

My Mum used to see soldiers hiding in the garden, a tiger going upstairs and all sorts of things.  She had parkinson's and as usually accompanies that Lewey Body dementia (think that's right).  With the soldiers with guns in the garden we just said we'd talk to the police to find out what they were doing there and we never heard that one again.  The tiger was a different matter.  Couldn't tell her it must have been a cat that had go in when we opened the front door and we'd go upstairs and shoo it out as she would get upset and argue with us.  So closed the door and said we would get someone to deal with it as it must have escaped - took her in the front room and sat her down and turned the TV on and got her to watch.  It's a case of distracting with th most plausible answers and actions but it is hard and upsetting for you.  Another good one was when she told us the district nurse was giving her viagra and she wasn't going to take any of her tablets any longer - where that one came from we don't know and that was hard to get through.  We got her tablets out and read through all of them and told her what it was for but I don't think anything we could do would remove that thought but it did calm her down and we managed to giver her her tablets.  Againt he district nurse was going to send her to China ???  We just said that will be nice we will all come with you and then talked about all the things we would see in China and how exciting it would be.  Quite often we would wake up to find she had got up early and laid the table for all the boys before they went off to sea that day - her brothers all of whom were dead by then had been fishermen.  We just sat down at the table and ate breakfast and "moved on."

Its a hard and upsetting time.  Its so good that you are there for her.  Bless you all.

Gina,

Hope you and Richard had a better weekend.

With me and my father being estranged (think that's the word) I didn't see the dementia coming.  He was way gone by the time I saw him.

My worst fear in the whole world is ending up like that.  I know that he was unaware of what was going on.  I know he didn't know who me or my partner were.

He wasn't violent with it, which is a good thing.  I was glad in a way when he passed away, so he wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

Is that harsh and unfeeling?

I'm going to stop going on now, I can feel my eyes filling up.

Freefaller,

I know it's not very nice but I missed out on everything with my father.

With my parents splitting up when I was 4, I never knew my dad.  Later on in life I went to visit him and my stepmum in Cambridge.  My stepmum is a carbon copy of my mother.  They actually got to be good friends.

I have totally missed out on any memories of him.

Most of the siblings on my father's side either died of Cancer or had one type.  That's why I get a Colonoscopy every 3 years.  Next one due 22nd August.

Sorry for waffling on, I do tend to do that more often than not.

Gina,

Shock! Horror!

Forgot to mention, on Thursday when I went out on my Cycle, had my cycle shorts on (no not lycra), I was just fastening my shoes when it hit me!

Someone had transplanted "Old Man's Legs" onto me.  What was I going to do??

I bet that put a smile on your face.  I nearly couldn't ride my bike, kept tripping up on my bottom lip.

Ha ha hysterical Steve. Yes it did give me a good giggle.  It is awful isn't it, getting old and I am so pleased you didn't choose lycra!! I found a small varicose vein had appeared on my thigh and was horrified as only old people get those.  I then have to stop and remind myself I am 71!! I still feel about 30 in my head though.

Gina

My friend, who I walk with every morning with our dogs, and I were discussing when our father's died this morning. My dad died about 7 years ago and his, probably 20 years ago but we both ended up with tears rolling down our faces. Sorry, you never knew him well. I was more worried that either he or my mother would forget who I was, but we were lucky that they never got to that stage.

Bloody hot isn't it.  Love sunny weather but it is too hot to go outside so not getting the benefit of the good weather. I had a good excuse to watch the tennis final yesterday though.

Cheers

Gina

I shouldn't have varicose veins.  Had them removed twice!

Think I'll go home from work and go straight in the back garden (with my old man's legs) to please the neighbors.

I didn't watch the tennis, too many 'young man's legs '.

Unbelievably hot here in downtown Newcastle.  Hosepipe time for the garden (and me).

Hi Freefaller

I started keeping  a diary of silly things both my mum and dad did, more for amusement when they had gone and also thought it might be helpful for others who were caring for their loved ones with some form of dementia.  

I am thinking that I may start compiling some stories and, if okay with you, would love yours to be the first contribution. Obviously anonymous but the tales of tigers, china and viagra are hysterical and along with other experiences may make good reading for those in our positions.

Best regards

Gina