Prostatectomy- hints and tips

Thank you TC, your advice is fantastic exactly what I was looking for and very welcome, yes you're right, no one wants to talk about this but this is what we need to talk more about! We had no idea about pads, I bought him these huge big knicker things which were totally useless! So thanks for that, When I started this thread, I wasn't too hopeful but now I feel so much more positive like we can get control of this and our relationship . You've helped me no end. 

Yes the granny pads just destroy our masculinity. So the best thing is don’t rush. Get the hena shields and he can please you with no other intentions. If however things move then that a advantage. If you plan and a man cannot achieve it’s devastating. So just think carefully about everything. Show him you still find him attractive. Touch him so he knows you still find him attractive. There’s a great book but you can find it on line called the five love languages. He and you will have a primary and a secondary. This will be a great place to start. So yes it’s a tough journey but remember the cancer has gone! So no things will only get better but just go slowly and plan something non threatening to him. Show him you can still be satisfied and that will help him overcome a fear. Again sorry if it’s too sensitive 

Not at all, I welcome all this advice, it's brilliant, exactly what I was hoping for. I didn't know which way to turn with imtimacy, didn't want to put pressure on like a raving maniac, but didn't want to make him feel unwanted either, so that helps no end. Will definitely get the book, thanks again for everything. So good to get honest male advice. 

Hi Lizzy just want to add my bit -  my recovery was fantastic a year on and doing great just give you a few recommendations

Depends pants 10/10 - cheap on ebay around 60p a pair  (did not like the Tena brand for me 4/10)

Telafafil - a wonderful table on prescription ! 

 Continence will improve - this was the only part for me which took a bit of time - almost a year but got there 

remember its still early days for you both  !

Thanks Paulo boss, 

This has all been invaluable to me, so glad I plucked the courage to post, its not the sort of thing I could walk up to a man to talk about, it's really encouraging to know that you're doing so well and I'm glad for you, I think he thought he would walk out of the hsp and be up and running within a week... In all aspects! I will definitely look into the pill, that sounds positive and might make him feel good about himself again, I'm trying but good to have the info for the Dr.

Thanks 

Telafafil stays in the blood for up to 36 hours ! like i say a fantastic pill and please again remember it really is very early days for you both but hopefully like me  - the Op has not made that big a difference to my life strange as it seems !

Hi Paul

Thanks for that as I’m at the stage for asking for that . Amazing forum for us all to share 

Hi TC, Paul

Just got the tablet you suggested Paul, how long does that take to work,! Did you get it TC, Also, the cancer has broken through the capsule wall a small amount, so not sure what that means, the Dr wouldn't really go into it, hope you're both doing well. 

Hi Lizzy reading the tread i cannot believe you have no support -  for me today and all the journey  I had (have) the phone number of my specialist nurse and her email address  i have the support of the local prostate group all of which are fantastic 

For each man its individual - the ability to get an erection after op will be based on if the surgeon was able to save the nerves and if the man had ED issues before the op this could be relevant for your partner remember it all might be too early   the nerves get damaged in the op and take some time to recover !

To help recovery you can get an NHS vacuum pump with the rings - have you tried this  - this and a Telafafil dose might just be enough  - I take a daily dose 2.5mg it gives night time and morning erections and help build a healthy penis even if you are not having intercourse you need this action 

In your question about the cancer breaking out  - he will be watched very close with regard to PSA blood tests result over the next 5 years or more given the cancer looks to be detected outside the prostate  but to finish you can sleep sound in the knowledge your partner is now under the care of the NHS for many a year - it’s the men which have it and do not know they got it that brings a furrow to my brow   

Thanks so very much Paul, will definitely look into the pump, your help is so appreciated. Yes we have been left with little support we keep being passed from pillar to post and have had to hunt for any information at all, thank goodness for this forum. Thank you you've been a life line.