I am 42 years old and had an early prostate cancer diagnosis. I had it removed last year and am 9 months post surgery. My wife has retreated away from any intimacy and immediately tells me to stop anytime I bring it up. It is very embarrassing for me but my doctor suggested months ago that we try to be intimate. I am grateful for the early diagnosis but am depressed and feeling rejected by her. I am insecure about myself as a man and actually regret having my prostate removed. I have no one else who can relate to me on the this subject due to my young age and want of physical intimacy with her. Any shared experience with this would be helpful.
Dusty
The most important thing here is to ask her why she is shying away from you. There is obviously a reason and unless u can find out it will be impossible to resolve.
I assume that everything was ok on this front before surgery and that you functioning ok in that area now 9 months after surgery?
Steve
Yes, there has got to be some reason. It is hard to get her to open up about it. And yes before surgery my sexual function was fine. I am regaining function now but have not yet experienced it with my wife. She has mentioned my scars before which are still there. I had a catheter briefly after surgery too. I don’t know if those are visuals that have turned her off.
Yes could be to do with scars and catheters but the only way to find out is to sit her down with a glass of wine and ask her out right.
You never know, the glass of wine might do the trick in every way.
Steve
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007