Post Prostate Removal Sexual Intimacy

FormerMember
FormerMember
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I am 42 years old and had an early prostate cancer diagnosis. I had it removed last year and am 9 months post surgery.  My wife has retreated away from any intimacy and immediately tells me to stop anytime I bring it up. It is very embarrassing for me but my doctor suggested months ago that we try to be intimate. I am grateful for the early diagnosis but am depressed and feeling rejected by her. I am insecure about myself as a man and actually regret  having my prostate removed. I have no one else who can relate to me on the this subject due to my young age and want of physical intimacy with her. Any shared experience with this would be helpful. 

  • I am very sorry to hear that. Maybe try and talk to her to see why she wont talk or if she is afraid of something. Maybe she is afraid she might hurt you. I suggest you contact one of the nurse counsellors on this page to talk about how to approach this problem.

  • Dusty

    The most important thing here is to ask her why she is shying away from you. There is obviously a reason and unless u can find out it will be impossible to resolve.

    I assume that everything was ok on this front before surgery and that you functioning ok in that area now 9 months after surgery?

    Steve

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Almondnut

    Thank you for your response. Yes, I agree that there needs to be some communication about it. I will have to try bringing it up again with a different approach. How do I find the nurse counselors on this site?

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Grundo

    Yes, there has got to be some reason. It is hard to get her to open up about it. And yes before surgery my sexual function was fine. I am regaining function now but have not yet experienced it with my wife. She has mentioned my scars before which are still there. I had a catheter briefly after surgery too.  I don’t know if those are visuals that have turned her off.  

  • Yes could be to do with scars and catheters but the only way to find out is to sit her down with a glass of wine and ask her out right.

    You never know, the glass of wine might do the trick in every way.

    Steve

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Grundo

    Thank you Steve. For helpful to talk about this with others. I look for an opportunity to talk about this with her. 

    Derek