QUE SARA SARA

 Worriedwife , thanks for that!

The counselling does help, but I seem to be going through stages when absolutely nothing goes for me, nobody wants to help me and I sometimes get so caught up in negativity, it's hard to get out of it.

The last post I received was from JPMJIG , he was mentioning some Buddhist podcasts.  I think I will give them a go.  I need to do something for my confidence. 

Hope everything is going well with you and your husband.

Hello Steve, I would like to reply to you privately if you wish?

Yes thanks 

Ok - will try to do it!

Steve. Give them a go. Keep an open mind and listen to them more than once. They are not a silver bullet to what you’re going through but more a signposting of where your thinking might take a different direction/perspective. For me, that’s exactly what happened and it’s very positive. I have a completely different outlook on life. 

First off, full disclosure, I am an active Christian. I will try and keep my comments under control. 

There is a concept in many religions, and which MAY have originated in Buddhism, called the "Eternal Now".

I have been trying to approach this myself, and it is an easy concept to understand, but difficult to accomplish.

In neutral terms, it involves trying to take time to be completely aware of all that is happening in a particular moment. Being in the present to the exclusion of all else. 

Oddly, I came quite close to doing this whilst receiving radiotherapy. With nothing else to do, and nothing else to distract me, I was able to get to grips with everything that came together to deliver this treatment, down to the fact that the materials to construct the machines that were helping me were gathered by people who may not even know what they were gathered for.

That was an encounter with a greater whole, coming together to offer me cure, or extension of life. 

You will need to study this a little to come to terms with it. Set aside some of the new age stuff that promise to make this easy, because it isn't. To work it needs you to NOT do things, and see where you are at that very moment. 

In those moments it does work for you it can change your life. 

Steve, I don't really follow any religion.  It's not that I believe or don't believe.  I've visited all different religions in different countries.  I found that other countries have stronger ties with whatever religion they follow.

The first time I went to Sri Lanka, I was intrigued by the Buddhist Monks, felt a draw to them.  But I just put it down to being somewhere new.  They are so calm, nothing fazes them.

I'm going to make an effort to try and be more active again in the Macmillan forums.  These have really helped me in the past and I feel that I have helped others, in my own way.

Thanks for your message.

It’s good hear you’re going to be about some more, Steve. You say the forum has helped you but please don’t forget how much you help all of us. You helped me so very much when I was really struggling with my husband’s diagnosis! A big thank you!

Aw, thanks for that!!!

I, for one, will be glad to see you back!