Terrified Wife

Hi AFLMF .

My husband and I were where you are 4 years ago with a stage 4 diagnosis and spread to pelvic and regional lymph nodes. Being terrified is natural because you don't know what is going to happen and the life you expected to live has suddenly been turned upside down. Firstly the hormone therapy puts an immediate stop to the cancer spreading any further. This then gives the medical team time to sort out what is going to be the best way to tackle it. Even stage 4 cancer is treatable and can give many years of a good quality of life. I have attached a very good link to information about advanced prostate cancer and it explains the different treatments available. One thing you will learn is that every mans cancer is different so rely on the experts. There have been huge advancements in different therapies over recent years so outcomes are a lot better now than they were even a few years ago.

Our oncologist told us right at the start that he could do 50%, the other 50% was down to us in terms of a positive attitude, along with lifestyle changes and diet. Staying as fit as possible is important from day 1 as this will help combat some of the side effects of the treatments but also it aids your bodies own healing mechanism.

We are a friendly bunch who welcome any questions so please ask away and someone will get back to you if they think they can help, but also we are here if you want a rant or just want to chat.

https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information-and-support/just-diagnosed/advanced-prostate-cancer

Hello AFLMF

oh, those first days and weeks after receiving the diagnosis of prostate cancer are just so very tough for all us wives! I just fell apart and spent the whole time in tears!  . Most of us wives and partners posting here have arrived in this forum in a state of complete shock, fear and anxiety. Our lives have literally been thrown into total chaos! what most of us have found is that talking to others, getting information  and support, knowing that we are not alone etc really does help the emotions to settle. I hope you will find this too.

it is important to hang onto the fact that even if prostate cancer cannot be cured it is very treatable! There is a whole armoury of drugs and treatments out there to keep the cancer in check and there is a lot of research going on with newer drugs coming to the market. 

I found I needed every ounce of information I could find- that gave me some sense of control in what felt like a pretty uncontrollable situation . Www.prostatecanceruk.org was a brilliant source of good, easy to understand info if you want to know more.

Im sure that you will get loads of replies from many people who are at different stages along this journey and hope you will feel comforted that you are not facing this alone. I send you and your husband my very best wishes  xxx

I am so sorry to hear this. It was also a devastating shock for us too and it took a lot of time to take it all in. My husband was also diagnosed with exactly the same in October 2022, has gone through chemotherapy and radiotherapy and is now on lifelong hormone therapy. He is currently doing amazingly well, for how long, we don’t know but he remains absolutely positive (more so than me, I am a totally wreck but I try not too show it and try to take in his positivity, although many a time I take myself to safe place just to get things into prospective)  I have had to learn, take each day as it comes, try and put a smile on your face, remember all your memories and I am sure there will be many more to come. Listen to the professionals, talk to UK Prostrate, MacMillian cancer counsellors. If you need a listening ear, please pm me.  Thinking of you and your husband xx

Thank you so much for getting in touch.   You are right, it's the fear of what the future looks like, not knowing, and being powerless.

Your kind comments have helped me tonight.

Thank you 

Thank you so much for your kind words!

It is comforting to know we are not alone x

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is so comforting to find this place and the lovely people, yourself included x

Hello AFLMF  Another warm welcome to the online Prostate Community from me - I am so sorry to find you here.

You have had some cracking posts already so all I will add is that if you do have any questions, however trivial please ask them - you will be assured of answers.

Prostate Cancer UK have some great information booklets and Below I have attached the ling to their "Advanced Prostate Cancer" booklet which you may find informative.

https://shop.prostatecanceruk.org/our-publications/all-publications/advanced-prostate-cancer

We also have our support line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days) if you have any questions whatsoever.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi AFLMF , think you have already had positive comments. I would just like to add, I was Gleason 9 and lymph spread, 7 years ago and still here! Ask questions, this is a brilliant site, stay positive and best wishes, David

AFLMF, there's every chance your husband will be around for many years to come.  At my local Prostate Cancer Support Group, there are some men, 10 years plus into their PC journey.  Some are stage 4, incurable.

We are all different and there are so many new treatments available now.  Luckily I was caught at stage 2 and after hormone and radiotherapy treatments, I am now in Remission.

I know that I will never be the same person again.  I feel that through my Cancer journey I feel like a better person.

I see you have had a few good posts already, please keep posting in this forum and we would like to help you through this difficult journey.

There's always someone who can help with whatever questions you may have.

Try to be strong for your husband, and take care of yourself.

Thank you so much Steve

The support on this forum has been so comforting