PSA looming

Hi Mad.

Now that's a hard one. It's a choice - quality of life v side effects of treatment.

I am on the HT/RT route and know what the side effects are and can easily tolerate them. I am 67 your husband is a fit 81. His PSA is rising 4 points a year (you didn't say what it started at)  and he's not had a biopsy so you don't know how aggressive the cancer is.

I pondered my reply  - but - and it's not because I am a man - I agree with him - enjoy life, and wait until the PSA is rising at an alarming rate or there are signs the cancer is affecting him - urine problems etc. Like most men he will be blissfully unaware of the profound effect his cancer is having on you.

I know HT is a life saver - but it does affect you - you can read my story by clicking on the icon of the beach if that would help.

This is a personal opinion - from a man - if you want to know more - just ask.

Try not to panic over the next PSA reading and I hope the above is of some help.

Best wishes

Brian.

Hi M

There's no easy answer to this one. Something we all dread , a rising PSA after treatment although I see that your OH has refused treatment.

If he is not on any treatment path I suppose that you would expect it to continue rising although perhaps not always.

What is the PSA history, does it show a steady increase.?

Regards

Steve

I remember your original post and I’m so glad you have managed to have 3 lovely cruises! 

The upcoming PSA tests always bring stress I think, my husband has had surgery but I still get very anxious over the tests so I completely understand how stressful it is for you.

I admire your husband for wanting quality over quantity especially as he sounds remarkable for his age.

I think, if I were you, I’d try to take things one step at a time, all of us only know about the here and now, we can’t change the past and the future is uncertain for us all, who knows what is around the corner, I just feel grateful for a good day and until such time as we have bad news, I will try not to think about it.

I think we are so lucky to have a good team of specialist nurses and consultants who can guide us and there are always options if the PSA test does come back higher than we’d like. 

I wish you and your husband well, please let us know how he gets on. 

Best wishes xx 

Thank you so much for your responses.  Over the past 2 years PSA has risen from 9 to 17. The Consultant said if it suddenly spikes or reaches 40 ( at the present rate a good few years) HT would be appropriate and work for 3-5 years. In my husband's words "well past my sell by date"!  He had RT for his tonsil cancer which was very gruelling and left him with some problems with eating etc, so I do understand his reluctance for RT, and he says it would take valuable time out of what he has left.  The Consultant said if he was an average 81 Yr old he wouldn't consider treatment but because he is fit and could easily pass for 60, he advised RT + HT.  He was quite affronted when my husband explained his decision. He absolutely refuses to discuss it any more, which is trying!   Our daughters both support his decision as right for him, and I do - but the 6 monthly PSAs really worry me.   So good to hear your thoughts. 

I think if this was me and I do understand his reluctance to do anything,  I would go for Radiotherapy without the HT.

All over in a few weeks and potentially still curable.

Don't forget RT in the throat area  different to pelvic RT.

I realise probably a no no though but wish u both well

Steve 

Hi Mad, I can well understand where you are both coming from, to be quite honest!  You are certainly having the quality of life your husband wants and are making fantastic memories. I think the ultimate decision has to be made by the patient in any and all medical circumstances so long as it is an informed, rational decision. ( I add the last ‘so long’ as my husband decided on no treatment from a point of emotional turbulence) .

however, my husband did go through the treatment and we now live by whatever his PSA reading is!  So, no different from yourselves, really. We know the RT and HT give a chance of cure but it is just that - a chance and not a definite. You know that there is a chance the cancer might spread - again, a chance not a definite. 

if your husband is determined that whatever happens with the cancer he will not undergo treatment there seems to be little point in going through biopsy and scans? 

what is much harder is your own role! You are faced with a chance of  having to watch him struggle through a terminal illness and widowhood - losing your soul mate and being alone. Does he understand this fear? 

hth

I think he does understand and I know if I really tried to persuade him, he might go along with it. But I don't feel its my decision to take as I haven't had to deal with all th, e medical intervention he has had over the past 5 years.  His Consultant did concede that something else could see him off at his age!  I'll continue to respect his choices though I do wish he would open up about how he is feeling, the joys of strong, silent, Northern man!  ( I'm a touchy feely Southerner)

Ha - That's just made me cry - *it's me hormones" - well the lack off them!!  .

Us Northern men (I do live in Oldham but there are people on here who consider it the North West) are the strong silent type. Yes I can't agree more - Mrs Millibob might stick her oar in here!! I was the strong silent type -until I started on HT and the Manopause struck .Now I can cry for England but hey ho - all is well!!

Best wishes to you both - keep us in the loop.

Kind Regards

Brian.