Anxiety overload

Hi William 

Don't worry he has reconciled to the fact that I will be attending every appointment now. I'm insisting on it! I will also be watching out for any signs of infection.  District nurse is coming tomorrow to change the graft site dressing and we return on 6th September for catheter removal. I'm hoping they will have biopsy results by then.

It's really good to be able to talk openly.  My husband doesn't want to keep talking about cancer which I understand but it's now part of our lives and it needs discussions.

Many thanks 

Lorraine 

How is your husband doing now he's had the catheter taken out?

Has anything been discussed about his lymph nodes yet?

How are you doing?  (Something most people forget about is how it affects loved ones).

Just had my 3rd operation on 1st September so am recovering myself. 

Hi William 

I nearly lost him last Tuesday.  He had a urinary infection and started to go into sepsis shock so I called the paramedics and he ended up back in the UCLH. After being on strong antibiotics IV for 4 days he's back home and doing much better. They removed the catheter last Wednesday  and he is very relieved that's gone!

We are still awaiting the results of the biopsy on the suspicious lymph node and believe we will get the results on the 18th.  

I've been struggling to be honest.  Really scared. Just got to pull up my big girl pants & deal with it.

What was your 3rd surgery for May I ask?

We are fully expecting more surgery and I know he isn't out of the woods yet.  Its going to be a long road, I know.

Lorraine 

The 3rd operation was total penectomy and node biopsy from right side, due to cancer returning. 

Sorry to hear your husband has been so poorly,  sounds like he is slowly getting better. I know where you are coming from with pulling up big girl pants but remember that this effects you as well so make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. And remember this forum is here to support both of you. 

Hi William 

I'm so sorry to hear of it returning for you. Are you receiving any kind of counselling for this?

I've started to see a therapist to discuss my feelings but my husband says he doesn't need one yet. To be honest I'm more worried about his feelings than mine.

I think he's mourning the loss of a sex life but, being Frank, I'm not bothered about that in the slightest.  I know we are still relatively young but after 37 years together we've had our fair share lol.  I just don't want him to shut down on me and he really isn't even telling me his true feelings. He hasn't cried or even appeared to be moody or depressed.  Just seems to be getting on with it but I know he is really concerned.  I will just carry on trying to break through. 

Lorraine x

Hi Lorraine 

No I am not having counselling, feeling OK without it, have a very supportive wife, it is something I will look at if I feel I need. 

Glad to hear you are getting help, as for your husband I can understand the mourning the loss of sex life, I felt bit like that in the early days but it soon passed. only he will know if he needs counselling, I know us men don't show our feeling, but only thing you can do is just remind him that it is available if he needs it, and remind he is not alone with dealing with this, by sounds of it he has a very supportive wife, and there is lots of support on this forum.