Hello
I am new to this forum but at the moment I am feeling very emotional and looking for advice/support/ a virtual Hug 
or anything that might help.
My Brother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in November 2023. He was suitable and strong enough for a Whipples proceedure but was in ICU for 3 weeks, very poorly, aftewards as he had his Pancreas, gall bladder, part of his stomach, bile ducts, duodenum,spleen, and also half of his kidney taken away as they found 2 tumours on that. This put him straight into Type 1 diabetes, which also he struggled with
Despite the journey to get back to health he battled well.( prior to the op had received 6 rounds of chemo to help shrink the tumor)
He fought and fought hard to get back to full health and he succeded. His hair grew back, his diabetes eventually became well controlled, yes he's lost weight but he looks really well and actually looks the healthiest I have seen him in years. He is back riding his beloved Motorbike, going our with his "Grumpy, moterbike mates" ( all in their 70's) ha ha, but he is loving life. I was given the all clear back in March 2024
Last Tuesday, he went for his annual check up. We recived the devastating news that is his cancer has returned. It has metastasised into both his lungs, his lymph nodes in his chest and his Liver. His consultant said It is inoperable, cannot be cured but maintained.? I am taking him back to see the Oncologist next Tuesday to discuss what treatment they are going to try.
I am his main carer as his Wife died last March - 2 days after he recieved the all clear. Its been a roller coaster year. I have questions to ask but dont feel I can ask them when I am in with the Oncologist as Im getting the feeling he doesnt want to know how long he's got. I on the other hand would. I know no one can actually be specific and I know some dont like to give "time" but right now I am feeling devastated, lost, I keep bursting into tears,
I cannot get over how he looks so well yet be so ill. He says he doesn't feel ill, he says he doesnt feel any different.
Sorry for the long rant but I don't have anyone else to "vent to". I am married with 2 children but they are all busy with their lives and just fed up of seeing me crying at the moment
Thank You
Sandra
Hi Molly1961
I'm sorry to read that you've recently learnt that your brother's cancer has returned and also spread to other areas. I can understand how devastating this must be for you.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and, although I'm not a member of this group, I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.
You might also want to join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can connect directly with others who are supporting someone with cancer to discuss your emotions.
If this is something that you'd like to do, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your brother's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
