Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer

Hi Molly1961 

I'm sorry to read that you've recently learnt that your brother's cancer has returned and also spread to other areas. I can understand how devastating this must be for you.

I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and, although I'm not a member of this group, I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.

You might also want to join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can connect directly with others who are supporting someone with cancer to discuss your emotions.

If this is something that you'd like to do, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your brother's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

Thank you so much for your help

Much appreciated 

Sandra

I'm saddened of your situation. I too was caring for my brother (a widow). I walked your same path with my brother. He too had the Whipple and recovered from that long operation sufficiently to gain back his strength.. I've been in your place and know how you are feeling. 

I came onto this site for advice and to receive comforting. My brother got up and on with such a determination. We shared so much and took it a day at a time. On many days we took the car, just drove off and talked. Those hours I cherish. We had 21 good months before his scans revealed spread to his lungs. Even then they did suggest chemo but as he felt well, he declined. 

There are people on here who read your messages and can respond. 

1. Thinking of you. 

Thank you Sloppy that means a lot.

I've just returned back from the hospital with my brother. I think today really hot him for the first time. The Oncologist was lovely and explained that without treatment it would be 4-6months

With treatment up to a year. He has chosen to have treatment as he feels really well and responded well to his first lot of chemo.

I appreciate what you havecsai. Today we chatted and laughed driving back in the car. Talking about mum and dad who took have passed on. It's a beautiful day and we must appreciate each day as it comes

Thank you again for your kindness. It really is appreciated - today of all days

Sandra 

Skippy ( so sorry)typo

I can imagine your feelings on that news today.  My thoughts are with you. Like you I had two grown children with their own busy families. They too must all be affected and hurting for you wondering how you will cope. 

I put myself into my brothers place and thought "if it were me, what would I want from him" ? That is all you can do to support him. 

I acquired a tub of Gold Tech Nutrition Optimum mass protein powder. It was recommended 2 scoops of that in a blender, daily, with banana/berries/milk his favourites shakes.The job was on, to keep him strong. Offers of fav foods regularly. He had his Creon, tablets -two didn't work so we doubled up on them at meal times.  He did walking daily and went about in his day fully intending  to enjoy himself. (We talked for England.)

I know Consultants are the experts, but they can't really (I'm my opinion) know how strong our defences can be.

My friend given six months, had well over 12 months and she took no treatments either. 

I hope you have some support. 

I applied for PIP for my brother as I had to go and leave him a few times (to go sort myself out) The PIP paid for a private helper to visit him twice a week to do some tasks- shopping/washing/general home tidy up. Just her company was enough to brighten him up.

I can assure you though my bro was pretty fit and able to do everything personally for himself for most of the time we had. He just became more lethargic over certain days. 

Stay strong. 

Thank you Skippy 

Thankfully my brother already gets PIP and has a blue badge for when we are out and about.

To look at him now you wouldn't think he was poorly. Outside, cleaning his motorbikes, arranging days out with his "Grumpy Club" mates. ( They are all over 70 and love motorbikes and meet weekly to at and talk about motorbikes)

It's hard getting my head around what the future holds. My husband keeps banging on about holidays and future plans but I don't want to listen. I feel my life is stuck. Waiting for something to happen and that's when I step up.

Thank you for recommending the build up meal replacement. I can't image how he will react when he needs those

 He's stubborn, very stubborn. I think he thinks he can still eat pie and chips which he tries but then suffers with terrible pain for hours afterwards.

I know it's going to be a tough journey and right now I feel all consumed with it

I'm thankful for this online support