Brothers pancreatic cancer diagnosis, looking for hope

Hi Shell74 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm sorry to read about your brother's recent cancer diagnosis and I know how it affects the whole family.

I'm not a member of this forum but noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.

While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your brother's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

Hi, thanks for replying.  I've had a look at your profile and you've been through a lot.  I applaud your strength and resilience!

Your brother has done the right thing

I'm afraid that this horrific disease has no happy ending.

Take care of him, and of yourself.

Thank you for your reply and honesty.

Hi Shell74

I am so sorry to hear what your brother and you are going through. I'm going through something similar with my husband who is 53. It's encouraging that they will be offering your brother chemo and new drugs when his stomach is drained and hopefully he'll feel the benefits of this soon.

My advice with how to cope is to try not to think too much to the future, if you can. Live for the present day, it's less stressful and helps me appreciate what i have right now. 

I believe there is hope. There are new drugs coming out all the time and new trials. My husband has been told his is inoperable but i believe someone or some drug can help us, I really do. 

Feel free to message me if you need a chat. X

Thanks for your reply.  I'm also sorry about your husband's diagnosis.  I think you're right about taking one day at a time.  It's quite hard to help as I still have minor children (teens, thankfully not little), I live 25 miles away and our mum's nearly 82 and doesn't drive, so a lot of the responsibility will be on me, although we have good friends who live near him who will try and help as much as possible.  I hope you have a good support network around your husband and yourself.  Positive thoughts all the way!

It's good that you have friends near your brother when you can't be there. A good support network is so important and i've found that people really really do want to help. And you must look after yourself too, that's important. X

I'm very sorry you have this diagnosis of your lovely brother. My friend aged 70 came back from her holiday with an itchy rash, and lost weight. She too was also slightly jaundiced. She went straight into hospital to have a stent fitted, which took away her jaundice, when various tests were complete, she also received the news of Pan C. She was informed it was inoperable and given a 'suggested time limit of 6 months' from her case findings. 

She actually lived 13 months, and in her time, decided on no chemo. She had some good times too. She wouldn't take her prognosis lying down. She took in all the experts advice and treat her symptoms, as they arrived, a day at a time. She went on Creon tablets, She had many good weeks at a time too.  Myself and friends rallied around her, encouraging her, taking her out, cooking her fav meals (soups) when she felt good to eat, even up to the week before she took to her bed so very tired, for the last time, she was out with us all at her "Bingo". 

With such diagnosis there seems to be no set patterns of ailments or symptoms. (she is the second victim of this damned cancer, that Ive experienced in 3 yrs. First My brother, and now my close friend of 50 yrs duration. My brother didn't smoke or drink !!

There is available a Personal Independence Payment, which qualifies on this diagnosis. It's Not Means Tested, and as she lived alone (widow) this enabled her to pay for a few hours a week of 'private care'. She had a few short admissions back into hospital with various infections, but she bounced up from them after 3 days in hospital, and was soon back home again.

She became more tired, sleeping half the days, as the latter 3 weeks progressed. The medicines she was given orally though, kept her pretty much pain FREE. That was the most important thing. 

I'm sure you are so worried and want to support your brother at this time. I know the Mac Nurses are there for you to talk to and he will have a Care Team referral from his Drs or the Hospital the Nurses could even perhaps get the appl form in for the PIP which could help with the Pers Care,  whilst your so far away from him. 

This Forum was my Godsend as I've vented so much on here before, and it helped. 

Thank you for your reply and I'm sorry about the loss of your friend and brother.  I think what's so frustrating at the moment is he's still in the not knowing stage and don't know what the treatment plan is. Just scans and draining his stomach. It's very frustrating and upsetting.

Hi Shell74,

so sorry to hear your brother’s diagnosis.This whole journey with this really pernicious cancer is an emotional roller coaster even if the c is caught early enough for the Whipple procedure.We, my husband and I have been fighting it since March 2021.The previous posters have given you very sage advice. We’re being treated at what is meant to be the best U.K. C hospital, everyone is brilliant, but the whole system is overstretched. So enjoy every day, do not give up hope.Battle and fight to get the best available treatment and be guided by your brother’s wishes.However, do challenge the doctors and ask what is doable.It will depend also on your brother’s immune system, we are battling infections at tge moment. Best wishes and keep strong.