Hi all. I don't really know what to say. My mum (62) was diagnosed today. Don't know what stage yet, but Dr said it's been there 'a long time'. Mum currently hospitalised with jaundice. Had a gastric bypass previously so can't have an endoscope for investigations into liver. We've been prepped that it's likely metastasised. Mum extremely frail. We've been told it's going to be probably another couple of weeks before any further investigation. I'm not sure she has that in her. I'm trying to help with care where I can. Dad is disabled and unwell, also needs help. He cannot care for her or himself honestly. There's no plan, no money, no support network because parents cut off families years ago. I'm proving a poor physical carer due to my own health letting me down. But parents don't want anyone else in the house. Mum just wants to come home. I want to bring her home but she's too sick and dad already talking about hospice. Mum would hate hospice. All she wants is control. I've suddenly found myself head of the family and no idea what I'm doing. We live in a remote part of Scotland and there's no resources for help without travelling to mainland, which becomes cost prohibitive. I'd probably be able to take a sabbatical from work to care and have a job to go back to, but I have nothing to sell, I don't even own my own home. I want to do everything I can to help, give everything she needs but I don't know how and I feel so isolated and lost. How do people do this?
