My brother

Hi Ginny92,

it’s hard news to hear isn’t it…. And no doubt you are having lots of different emotions at the moment. Are your parents with you here or with your brother abroad. 
Is a trip to see him soon feasible? 
maybe a visit face to face will help with understanding and being able to find out where he is at with his diagnoses and how you can support him and your parents. 

Do you have any support? As much as it’s hard for your brother it  is hard for family members to. 
We try very hard to hide our feelings from friends and family but from my experience it’s helps so much to be able to talk freely and have a cry. 
my husband has PC and I have had 2 cry’s with him and I was surprised how he supported me, I felt so much closer and more at ease once I’d had my cry. I felt I could Move on to the next thing( children or work) and cope. 

Sending Hugs 

chrissie 

Hi Chrissie,

Thanks for your reply. It's really hard to hear the news and not really understand what is going on.

My parents are in the UK but my brother is on the other side of the world so a visit to him does take some preparation. I'm working on that at the moment but I also have to consider that I have a teenage daughter and, as solo parent, that also needs to be taken into consideration.

I've told a handful of close friends and they are supportive but it's hard in the middle of the night when I'd just like a someone to give me a hug and allow me to let it all out.

x

With me, they found a tumour at the base of the pancreas. I got sent to different hospital where they carried out a PET scan which luckily showed there was no spread. I then had an operation to remove the tumour with a procedure called whipple surgery.. I'm now on a 6mths course of chemotherapy because there might well be some cancerous cells remain close to where the tumour was. There is definitely hope and I believe it's important to stay positive. You say your brother has suspected cancer, I'm a PET scan which scans the whole of the body will give more info, hopefully they've caught it early, don't start panicking. 

Hi Ginny, being honest most doctors will not start chemo until they are 100% sure what they are dealing with I.s scans and biopsy. Has your brother got a partner that you can talk to so you can try and put the pieces together? Have your parents been given the same info as you. 

Must be so difficult with him being the other side of the world? Are natural instincts  is to help and want to be there but that sounds like you said some planning and being solo makes it hard for you. 

i understand about wanting the hugs, even though my husband lies right next to me I can’t give him a hug as his tummy/back hurts. He has surrounded  himself with pillows to get comfortable and I’m left in the edge of the bed just listening to him toss and turn or him just breathing. 

Hoping you get some answers very soon so you know what to do.

hugs

Chrissie

Hi Ginny, I just wanted to reach out to you, I'm in a similar situation, my lovely older brother was diagnosed in November 2021 ( he's 67, I'm 60) and I can honestly say it's the worst thing I've ever had to deal with, and I am so scared of what's to come..He's had 12 rounds of chemo, and has just finished radiotherapy...he can't have surgery, as the tumour is too close to a vein, and hasn't shrunk...in fact it's grown. However, he's doing ok at the moment, and we just take it a day at a time. I often read these forums late at night, it's comforting to not feel so alone with our worries! Keep in touch, we all need to help each other.

Jacky 

I

Hi Chrissie, he has a diagnosis of cancer but has three tumours, one of which is quite large on his pancreas and his doctors are not 100% sure that it has oringinated there but that's the most likely place. He's having chemo in an attempt to shrink it before surgery and to confirm. 

It's horrible him being so far away but I am grateful for technology and being able to see him. To some extent I'm also grateful he's where he is as the journey from his first appt with his GP through to diagnosis has only been a matter of weeks; all scans, tests and biopsies were carried out swiftly and the treatment plan started within six weeks. I have friends here who are still waiting for results from tests carried out in December so I'm trying to see the positives for his location.

Thank you for your support.

x

Hi Jacky, thanks for your reply and I'm so sorry to read that you are in the same position with your lovely brother.

Late at night seems to be really tricky and yes, feeling less alone is comforting as it does feel like a lonely journey at times. It is scary too.

This feels like a very safe space to be able to let go of these things though and I'm relieved to have joined.

x

Hi again Ginny92,

I just wanted to reiterate, you're not alone-unfortunately, this horrible cancer seems to be in the news all the time at the moment-and whenever you post anything-even if it's just random thoughts and feelings, rather than questions-someone who understands exactly how you're feeling, though their home situation may be completley different, will read your posts and want to help if they possibly can. It is a comfort to know that total strangers can and do empathise, and it does make the whole nightmare just that little bit easier to bare. I don't post much, but I do read a lot-too much sometimes!!-and there are a lot of people out there who feel for you and your family, so never doubt that, and use us all whenever you need to!

x