Just unfair

Hello and welcome

Yes, I think you have to find humour where you can, but its hard. Its constantly on your mind, nagging away.

I'm sorry about your partners diagnosis. Pancreatic cancer can have effects pretty suddenly and then come and go, or stay and become worse quite quickly.

The waiting for news is, I always find, the most stressful part, esp if it goes on for several weeks. You can't help but think the worst and go into overdrive with worry.

I appreciate the covid crisis has added to any delays, but I think cancer patients need results quickly to get treatment started and to know what is happening. Some cancers won't sit around waiting!

Its good that although from some tiredness from what you have said, he has no other symptoms aside from stomach pain.

I hope it is manageable for him and that you can obtain more news very soon-  at least then you can have a plan and know in some way where things are going

Know that we are here to listen and support you, please keep us posted xx

Thank you for this reply  

Sadly my partner died after 7 weeks of being diagnosed. 18th December 2021 

A Blood clot stopped his chemo for  the following week and he was given 6 months max, We totally got our heads round it. No problem. We would get married, get fat and try our best to make the most of it........ The following day he passed away with all his loved ones with him.  I am still in shock. Its tough and a lot of people have lost an amazing person in their lives. 

Macmillan were amazing right to the end! But then the support stops ! Why can they not have an after death service? I rang for help but they couldn't. 

They gave me numbers to call, but its a 3 month wait. 

People say how strong I am, but organising a funeral keeps you motivated.  Then of course everyone thinks that's it, the funeral is that 'line drawn' and you get on with life. But actually, there are cars to sell. An estate to sort, house to clear. That's when things start to become deep and the grief sets in when your soul mate isn't there to help you along.  I wouldn't have time or the brain to return to work. 

I search for videos of his infectious laugh or his voice, just to try and keep him with me 

He was a fit 55 year old-  an 'Iron Man' triathlon athlete to the end with a motto of

" Strength and Dignity"

 Which he carried to the end  x

I'm so very sorry. He must have deteriorated very quickly. Its shocking how quickly illness can take hold, esp PC. 

I guess- and I hope this doesn't sound harsh or uncaring- but at least there wasn't a long time of him suffering, that must be horrid. 

I'm glad Macmillan were a big support, we need folks like that around us. 

Thinking of you xx

So sorry for your loss, you have had such a lot to deal with but I am sure your partner would not want you to be so sad and grief stricken. Cancer took your partners life and if you let it ruin your life too it will have won, don't let it happen appreciate every second you have and remember all the lovely memories you made together. Praying for you x