Pancreatic Cancer end of life

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Hi all, I'm in a really sad place, my partner diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer spread to liver 4 months ago & after 2nd opinion started Gem-Cap chemo we were told maybe 6-12mths, he finishesRevolving heartsis 1st cycle of chemo tablets just over a week ago & has had a Portacaph fitted ready for the infusion part of chemo, sadly he has rapidly deteriorated in last week or so & Monday he was unresponsivRevolving heartsin the morning, we called ambulance who couldn't do anything due to meds & diagnosis so asked him to squeeze their hand if he wanted to go back to Solihull Macmillan Hospice B'ham which he did & hasRevolving heartsad a drug pump fitted, he can't eat or drink, did have a few lucid moments yesterday but delusional & confused said a few words had some ice-cream but goes back to sleep. They've told us he has daysRevolving heartseft his body is shutting down & today he hasn't had any lucid moments l. So staying with him at the hospice tonight with his Mom. I feel so useless, I feel my heart literally breaking as he's alwaysRevolving heartseen so active & he's only 45yrs old but looks so old frail, he's got a cough, Doc's said it's his body relaxing as his organs are shutting down, I keep talking to him, but it's so sad knowing I'm juRevolving hearts waiting for him to pass. I've said to him his family have been as he wanted to see his Dad & I'm there with his Mom & of he wants to let go he can, but it's killing me, I don't know what to do, sayRevolving heartsit's so hard cancer is such a cruel disease. The nurses, Doctors, HCA's, Macmillan volunteers have been amazing they really are angels, treat you like family. I just needed to share this with peopleRevolving heartshat may understand. I needed to vent. Times close for him to pass, I'm trying to be strong but I'm breaking. Thankyou for letting me vent, love, light & prayers to you all Revolving heartsSparklesPray

  • Hi Rtm there are no words but I am sending the biggest hugs ever your way and Im thinking of you at this really sad time.  xxx

    gail

     
    Community Champion Badge

  • Hello

    I'm at a lost for words. I understand what your going threw. My family is also dealing with this awful disease. My beautiful amazing wife was diagnosed 2.5 months ago. She is only 43 yrs old, and was full of life. Now it's heart crushing to see her deteriorate before my eyes. We had all theses plans and now.......we'll there's not much I can do but be there for her.  This disease is so cruel! I read your words and had to reach out because there's no one that really understands what your going threw. It was very moving and I understand your frustration and please vent, u need too. This is my first time on this forum. I joined after I read your words and felt it your pain. I'm sending you all the strength and positive energy, I can spare. Stay strong and never give up on hope. Hope is all we got! Thank you

  • So sorry. This is a difficult time. 

    His suffering will end soon. Just be strong. For him. For you both. 

    Best wishes. 

  • Hello, it’s so hard isn’t it, I know exactly what you’re going through, it all feels like a bad dream sometimes, my sister has had one round of chemo but couldn’t complete it as she had a bad reaction, that was about 8 weeks ago, since then she’s had sepsis, vomiting bugs twice, we were told more than once that her passing was imminent, then we were told she isn’t actually end of life, now she mainly sleeps only waking to eat a small amount of her meals or to go the toilet, they’ve offered her more chemo ( a different one they say) when she’s strong enough but how can she get strong enough when she’s so tired all the time? I really do empathise with you, and am so sorry you and your husband and family are going through this nightmare. We have to stay strong for them and I know it’s hard at times but I know just being there will give them comfort, you’re in my thoughts xx