How to know when the end is near?

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My mum believes she is coming to the end of her life as she is now struggling with pain and lack of appetite. She is waking up during the night due to pain and so is exhausted during the day. Though she is eating less she has only lost a stone over the last year since she stopped chemo. The hospice are involved but only contact once a week so it still feels to me that she has months rather than weeks. Psychologically it is a nightmare as she is just waiting to die. How do we know when time is very short? This is the worst part of my life

latchbrook 2 months ago

Hi Aussiegirl04

I'm sorry to read about your mum and I can understand what a difficult time this must be for you.

I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet so responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.

You might also find posting this message in the supporting someone with incurable cancer forum, which I can see you've joined, helpful. Also, Macmillan have this information on caring for someone who is dying which you might want to take a look through if you haven't already seen it.

((hugs))

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

Minnessa 2 months ago

Oh my goodness I have just seen your message and Im so terribly sorry for what you are going through. The positive thing is that you have the involvement of rhe hospice team. Whilst that is positive, I acknowledge the pain and stress you and your family must be feeling right now. Its a truly agnonising time, my husband has pancreatic cancer so I really appriciate the pain abd fear you feel. I wish there were words that could comfort you and your family, but just letting you know you are not alone is a start. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Skippy G 2 months ago

I am sorry to hear as carer of your mam how distressed you must be and it sounds like she's endured discomfort for quite a while. I'd have hoped the attending nurse would have suggested pain relief for your mam, at time, to get some sleep at nights too. Your Mam sounds as if she is relaying her feelings to you too. It must be very painful to hear her words spoken. I found my brother and friend in my carers role had many stages, some days even hospital admissions due to infections. Then rallied up again for many weeks.

I often put my bro in the car even in his PJs and drove him out to take his mind off his illness. He enjoyed the drives out. I did all I could to 'distract' and I'm sure it was some benefit to him and me. Time is very precious.

It was blood tests that gave us the progress of the cancer. Many times though an energy arose in him and was found, which gave me no indication of the full decline of health. He chose himself to not eat as his appetite left him. He took off to bed and just wanted to sleep more and more.

I hope you have support too.

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How to know when the end is near?