Ovarian cancer

Hi Pips.

I'm not in quite the same situation, as it's 55 year old me who has the ovarian cancer. However, I do have an 85 year old Mum too and am trying to support her since my Dad died recently. She was diagnosed last year with a 'mild cognitive impairment' and this together with grief for my Dad, and also worrying about me, has also left her like a rabbit in the headlights.

It's very likely that your Mum's oncology department has Gynae Cancer Nurse Specialists, whose whole role is to support patients and make sure they're coping with the news and further developments. Why not give your mum's consultant's secretary a call and find out? If it turns out to be cancer, then you're likely to be steered in their direction anyway, but there's no harm in you asking. I've found them invaluable for my own situation.

As a side note, my Mum's local GP surgery has a home visiting team and a lovely Advanced Nurse Practitioner kept in touch with us throughout the whole time that Dad was ill and now she's concentrating on Mum. She can visit the house for face-to-face chats, and/or a weekly phone call. She's able to reassure Mum about all kind of things and signpost to other services, if needed. Might there be someone at your mum's GP surgery who could support in this way?

Best of luck to both of you x

Hi. 
I am 67, so younger than your mother and was diagnosed last year. While I am younger I do recognise her denial. Whenever I said the words “I have cancer” I felt as if I were talking about a cardboard cutout who looked and dressed like me but wasn’t me. It took me 6 weeks to take on board the ownership of the diagnosis. 
a previous reply to your message is very sensible and I suggest that you speak with your MacMillan nurse at the hospital. They are wonderfully supportive and caring. 
while your oncologist has proposed surgery and chemo you may want to investigate the outcomes and implications of not progressing that as well as how they will impact an 85 year old body. I recognise that this is counterintuitive however both surgery and chemo are brutal and for an 85 year old it could be even more debilitating than it is for a younger person. It may be worth discussing with your mother and the oncology / MacMillan team what may be better for her.  
it is clear that she is supported by a loving daughter and that will make a lot of difference, whichever route she takes. Best wishes. 

Oh! Another useful tip. Record on your phone the  meetings with everyone. We found this very helpful as you are given so much information it is hard to take in. We listened again while T home and that made everything clearer. Could be particularly useful for your mum 

Hi thanks so much for your reply. I’m so sorry to read about your parents. Did you find it easy to speak to the consultant or do I need permission from someone. You are going through a really tough situation. Keep in touch xx

Yes I agree with you and that’s going to be my next step. Thanks so much for replying! I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and I really hope you get some good answers xx

Just a question that you might not know the answer to but she’s been asked to go for a thorax/abdomen ct scan, just wanted to know if it’s procedure or maybe they found it’s spread.

I really appreciate any advice and I’m hoping that you all get a good recovery ️‍. I really don’t want any of you to think I’m being selfish because I know she’s old. I just wanted to know the basics because I don’t know what to expect. Good wishes and love to you all ️️

The CT scan gives a lot more information about the spread of the cancer. I have now had 4 as a check on the baseline and then progress as I underwent treatment. 
How are you being selfish in caring for your mum?! Is it because you are afraid people will think she shouldn’t receive treatment because she is 85 years old? The clinicians clearly believe she is suitable for treatment and that is all that counts. Only you and she can know whether she is resilient enough for chemo and surgery. It is an important discussion for you both and the oncologist to have. My best wishes for you both as you start the journey. 

Hi there. A thoracic/abdominal/pelvic CT scan with contrast is absolutely standard for OC. You usually get the results within 1 -2 weeks. You can ask for a copy of the report x

Thankyou so much x

I just feel bad asking because I know there are many people in way worse situations than my mum, because she’s old now. Thanks for the advice though. I really appreciate that xx