Hello, I’m new here!

Hi there! Of course you are welcome here! I'm from the US but also now British, currently in London but about to head home to my family in Tashkent. (It's complicated!) I had high-grade serous ovarian, stage three c, and am also now in remission. I had a similar treatment, with carboplatin and paclitaxol. Plus major surgery. I'm now on Avastin/Bevacizumab for maintenance. My doctor offered either that or niraparib, saying either would be good. I share your fears about recurrence, but because there is no definitiive "end" to this after which we can breathe a sigh of relief, the trick is finding a way to live with the suspense, to just go ahead with our lives in spite of it and assume we will be okay. What else is there to do? Easier said than done, I find it's a continual learning how to live in the best way that feels possible to us. Allowing ourselves to feel happy and enjoy things while in remission can never be a bad thing. I don't have fatigue, oddly, but I do have a lot of pain in my muscles and tendons and it's hard to tell if it's too much exercise or the Avastin or something else. And my scar is still not completely healed, six months after surgery! Just one small bit left to go, but it's slooooooow. I suppose because I still have hardly any neutrophils. My bone marrow was exceedingly slow to recover, meaning every chemo was delayed for weeks, I needed GCSF, and surgery was delayed two months because I had hardly any platelets. That's probably more than you wanted to know about me! Anyway, happy to connect with you here. 

Thank you for the reply, Cadence. That’s not at all more than I want to know about you! I’ve found the thing that helps me most is hearing from others like you, knowing that I’m not the only one with these symptoms and feelings. I’ve felt guilty that I haven’t muscled through the doubt, when it’s really a normal response. As for symptoms, I have joint stiffness that has made me wonder whether it’s the medication, or my lack of adequate exercise, or just getting old fast. It adds to the uncertainty.

I’m interested to hear that you’re on the Avastin/Bevacizumab regimen. It wasn’t ever discussed with me. I have faith in my physicians, but it’s still important for me to educate myself on all the options.

Good luck with your scar healing. I’m 18 months out of surgery, and except for one or two spots of scar tissue, it has all gone away.

Thank you again for sharing.