I don't know how to deal with my mums diagnosis.

Hello - so sorry you find yourself here but hoping you’ll find some support from this group and from your Macmillan nurses, and sending you a hug.

Pretty much everyone I’ve encountered on the OC journey agrees that the waiting time in the early stages is the worst - this thing crashes in and takes over your life without warning and fills you with the darkest thoughts.

It’s hard to be strong all the time, and you don’t have to be - it’s ok to break down and cry if it helps. You and your mum can be a strong team just by being there to help each other get through - whatever that takes.

I hope you’ll both find (as I did) that once the medical team share results and a plan with you, you’ll feel more able to cope with whatever the next steps are for your mum - chemo, a hysterectomy, and/or maintenance drugs. New treatments and options are becoming available all the time - so it’s good to stay positive as much as you can, keep faith with your medical team,  and definitely keep away from Google, which tends to have lots of out of date and inaccurate information.

I wish you both all the best on your journey - and remember there’s always somebody here for you,

Bx

Thank you very much, im doing my best to stay away from google. I did a bit of research at the beginning so i knew what it was she had. Then i left it at that so i didnt scare my self anymore. 

Im finding it so hard to sleep for more than a few hours at a time without being woken by the thought of have i missed a call, does my mum need me. I have always been there for my mum since a young age as she was a functional alcoholic but would ring me at random points after id left home just because she needed to talk. Even though she has her wife it just wasnt me.

Now she is not drinking this cruel thing has got her to stop completely but she also doesnt ring me either so its chaning her habits which is scary. Its not her, im mentally worried she is changing but i know shes just tired too.

I will keep my head up as best i can and thank you again for answering my post it means alot x

Hi I’m so sorry , my mum got diagnosed yesterday with ovarian cancer , I havnt stopped crying but also trying to be strong infront of her and my little girl , I literally don’t know what to do with myself , I’m sorry I don’t have much advice as I feel the same , but my friends keep telling me they can do marvellous things and to stay positive , thinking of you aswell x 

Im sorry to hear about your mum. I will say a prayer for her. Its the shock that makes it the hardest, i hope you get better results for your mum than i have for mine.

We have just been told its stage 4, spread to her liver, abdominal organs, lymph nodes and she has fluid around her lungs. 

She is past the point of curing but the can prolong her death and give her some form of a life by giving her treatments x

Thank you so much for replying to me , I keep writing things and deleting them ,  I’ve heard lots about the ovarian stages and know people of cases of stage  4 that have been treated , I so hope your mum can be Treated and things start to head in the right direction, the anxiety of not knowing where my mum is at is awlfull, this has always been our worse fear , did your mum have symptoms? My mums tummy is now very swollen it makes me worry things are getting worse x x

Hi,

I’ve also heard lots of stories in this chat room of people diagnosed at stage 4 who, with the benefit of chemo and new maintenance drugs becoming available all the time, have gone on to live for many years and still have a good quality of life, so we must never give up hoping or trying to stay strong.

As for your mum’s swollen tummy, I also had this pre-treatment (my cancer was stage 2b). Not sure if it will help her, but I found that cutting down on salt and alcohol, and not drinking water before meals and late at night really helped. I also cut down on gluten and dairy products, which I found hard to digest and made me bloated.

All the best to you both on the next stage of your journey,

love Bxx

My mums tummy changed shape more than anything it became flatter at the sides and pointed out more at the front. She has had to get bigger clothing more so for the comfort as anything pressing on her tummy hurts. She said that the worst thing for her is that she cant lay on her sides as everything moves and she just wants to cry.

When she is asleep she is hallucinating and hitting out a lot or shouting at people. She didnt do this before the cancer. Is this normal?? X

I’m afraid I’ve not experienced or heard any  other stories of hallucinating linked directly to OC - and can understand that would be very worrying for you. If you haven’t already, I’d flag this to your medical team or Macmillan nurse as soon as you can - maybe your mum has an underlying urine (or other) infection that needs antibiotics?

Thinking of you both,

love Bxx

My then 74 year old mum was diagnosed with stage 3/4 bilateral ovarian cancer 3 years ago that was deemed treatable but not curable. She had a hysterectomy & chemo and today celebrated her 77th birthday and is still here, fighting. My children were 8 and 11 when she was diagnosed and I was honest and truthful with them about their Nan. It’s a personal choice but my children have handled it so well & we are able to navigate this as a family - laughing and crying together. Sending much love to you all x 

Hi emberpiper thank you for your message am sorry to hear about your mum aswell but am so pleased to hear that 3 years on your mum is keeping positive and strong , we are just waiting for mums biopsy results to find out a treatment plan , I feel so anxious waiting for the results but hopefully we will all feel abit better once a plan is in place . Sending love to you all x x x