Hi I a going for scans next Wednesday of tummy were the C is and one in head. I am on Niraparib but the ca125 count is high I have been on chemo on and of for 7years and trying to stay positive but fits getting harder. I am scared again if it has spread too much but my doctor says I can have chemo again depending on the results of the scans.
I have arthritis in my left knee and it's getting harder to walk and left arm shoulder have rotary cuff trouble just scared of falling I live alone and have a wee dog that keeps me going but I still have scary thoughts.
I wake up crying but just get on with what I can do on the day I try and put on a cherry face but it is getting harder and the cold weather makes all feel worse.
Sorry for this letter but it gets lonely and mind wanders to the worst. I have a lovely daughter who helps as much as she can but she is working and got two children at school.
Thank you to anyone who reads this
Lesley
Hi Lesley,
So sorry to hear about all you’ve been going through over the past 7 years and, from only having been on this journey myself for 5 months so far, I so admire you having been able to stay positive (even if you do have a wobble from time to time - who wouldn’t?!).
So important for us all to keep faith with our medical teams through this and, while your doctor is saying more chemo might be a possibility, then there’s hope - and all the time new maintenance drugs are becoming available, so even if Niraparib isn’t right for you, hopefully something else out there is.
I hope your arthritis and quality of life will improve now that we’re entering spring / summer, and that your appointment on Wednesday goes well.
Be thinking of you, and be great to hear how you get on if you feel like posting again.
Love Bx
I did not write anything more but I want to say thank you again for replying we all have journey to take and our is with medical team who look after us I rely on them to help us so much and listen. I have able to ask them about other things as not able to see a doctor last year for the coronavirus. The sun is shining it's another day never mind the aches and pains will let you know the outcome of scan results.
Take care and safe we still have to be careful as like many not been out much just with family in our bubble
Love to you B
Hi Lesley,
I’ve not been on this journey as long as you. I know that some days are so much harder than others. I think you need to visit the dark side, but try to come back in to the sun. I hate the fact that you are feeling scared and that you are living alone.
Give your pup a stroke and I really hope you feel brighter soon. I wish I had something really encouraging to say but I feel words are a bit wasted. I am sending a hug and keeping my fingers crossed for your results xxx
Hi Lesley - You really are an inspiration - you struggle so much with health and pain yet you 'get on with the day'. I admire your strength and I know that it helps to have a cry sometimes. I would like a dog but not sure I could look after it at the moment, maybe at a later date.
Lockdown is lifting so I hope you get more contact with people, I too have a busy daughter and I don't like to ask her to help too much, living alone is much harder in these covid times. Hope your results are good, take care
Jaybeth
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