Hello everyone,
I found a lump in my abdomen that I thought might be constipation and a full bowel as I have IBS. I'd had bloating, back pain, reflux , fatigue and loss of appetite.
An emergency ct scan showed a rather large mass.
I was referred to gynaecology oncology.
On December 18th 2020 I had surgery to remove the mass which included my remaining ovary and fallopian tube. ( I had the other one and full hysterectomy over 10 years ago)
It turns out I had a large Ovarian cyst , described by my surgeon as a rugby ball. Within the cyst was a cancerous tumour.
It had stuck to my bowel, bladder and ureta. They managed to take it away whole but had to shave it away from the organs it had stuck to.
It took 6 weeks to hear histology results. This was so traumatic. Not knowing what was to follow.
I am very lucky that it was decided I needed no further treatment.
However , I'm slowly recovering physically but I'm struggling mentally. I find myself suddenly thinking "I had cancer " and having flash backs of hospital and conversations. I cry for no reason.
I don't think I processed everything as each stage went by . Im not sure what to do next. I feel I need counselling. I need to talk to someone who will understand. All my family and friends are telling me to forget and move on! Be positive you had good results. Look to the future etc etc
But im finding it difficult to celebrate and be positive when it doesn't feel real to me.
I'm worried about going back to work (I teach primary) as I think ill still be a little physically compromised but mostly mentally compromised. Its a worry when your sick pay is close to dropping to half and you live alone.
PLEASE if you've been through a similar thing, or have advice for how to deal with the aftermath of surgery and cancer I'd be very grateful to hear from you.
Thank you
Hi Phoenix66 and welcome to the online community. I'm so sorry to read about what you have gone through over the last few months but pleased to hear you have no need for further treatment. Nevertheless any cancer diagnosis brings many questions, confusion and lots of stress but talking with other people who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this rollercoaster so it's good to see you've already joined the Ovarian cancer forum. I see no-one has been along just now to answer your post but I'm sure someone will very soon.
I didn't have the same sort of cancer as you, but I fully agree the waiting and worrying over results is so debilitating and now you feel you should be celebrating but it still doesn't seem real. I think only people who have gone through the cancer roller-coaster ride only really understand where you're coming from so I would recommend you take a look at both the Life after cancer and Emotional Issues groups. Just click on the links, introduce yourself and copy and paste this, your first post.
When you have a minute, it would be helpful if you could pop something about your journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. (It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.) To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can update it at any time.
It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
Sending you welcoming hugs, B xx 
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
"Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever” - Roy T Bennett
