Told in remission 3 weeks ago.

Hello Kernow6,

Glad to hear you are in remission.  I am 3c stage  and had 6 chemo's and full hysterectomy plus cervix and appendix in August.  I am having 2 extra mop up chemo's next month as a precaution.Never thought I would be so happy to have more chemo!  My doc said that hopefully after a CT scan he would be able to send my on my way with 3 monthly checks.    I know what you mean about after treatment ends.  I had breast cancer 7 years ago and really struggled with the 'what next' feelings and flatness.  I felt guilty because my BC was very early stage and I managed to 'escape' with a lumpectomy and radio therapy, so felt guilty that I didn't go through the chemo that most people have. Felt a bit of a fraud.   Certainly mad up for it this time with OC though.   I think with time the feeling passes, but you never really 'forget', events/things trigger it, celebrities going through it, or the statistics that the charities like to inform you of don't help either.  Think everyone on here would agree the hardest bit is after treatment, you worry about it coming back, every twinge you panic.  There is no easy answer, but I find talking on here really helps, hearing other ladies stories, sometimes its better than talking to friends because although my friends have been so supportive, and still are, it does help talking to someone who has gone through it. 

I hope your flat feelings pass.  We are always here for a chat!  enjoy the rest of your Sunday, my son is having his first driving lesson now, so can't wait to find out how it went.

Take care and stay safe.

Love and virtual hugs

Janet 

xx

Hi Kernow6

I too have a stage 3b Ovarian Cancer and have been in remission since January 2020.  You can read my story by clicking on my name.  

I have often read that post treatment can  be the hardest part, as Janet points out,  and that has certainly been my experience.  Diagnoses and treatment are very challenging and at the time there is so much going on on a practical level that the emotions do not always keep up, which I think is why it is after that the impact is truly felt.  What you are experiencing is completely normal and understandable given everything you have been through.  Please don't feel guilty about how you are feeling, there is no competition, it is all perfectly valid.  I certainly have found talking to others who have gone through similar has helped me enormously, there is lots of help and I found this Community to be a great starting point for me as talking to those who know what you are going through and absolutely "get it" saves alot of explanation and frustration when trying to explain, sometimes, to those who have not walked this path. 

Can I  recommend a paper called "After the Treatment Finishes - then what?" by Dr Peter Harvey a Clnical Psychologist from Leeds Teaching Hospital Trust, you can find it on Google, or hopefully someone will come along with a link for this?  (sorry I don't have a link)  - this paper may help you to put some things into context, it really helped me and alot of others within the Community.  It is a little long, but  do persevere, and best read with a brew - I cannot recommend it highly enough.  Also, there is a Life after Cancer group you may wish to join, where you can post and make contact with others who are also going through the post treatment experience, and many discussions worth a read that may help too.

It does take time, but there is no rush, you will get there - one step at a time doing only what you can realistially manage on a daily basis.  Keep talking, help is always here and you do not have to do this alone.

Take care,

With warmest wishes and lots of ((hugs))

Ourgirlinthenorth xxx

Hi Kernow6.  I’m conscious that your post was around a month ago, so am hoping you’re feeling a bit better now, and I’m so pleased your treatment has got you into remission.   I completely identify with what you say - I was diagnosed with stage iv in January and have had 6 cycles chemo, surgery, then 2 ‘mop up’ chemos ending early September.  I too have been told I’m in remission and Am now on 3weekly Avastin maintenance.  Having dealt with it all reasonably well, I’m struggling now.  People seem to think it’s over, and congratulate me for having ‘won’, but I’m so aware that this is likely a respite, and the chances are it will return and ill have to go through it all again, if not worse.  Obviously I’m trying to be positive and am not simply sitting here waiting for it to come back, but I’m struggling to move forwards.  I stopped work following diagnosis as I’m freelance and was too ill, and then of course COVID came along and decimated my industry so there’s no chance of picking that up again. My life now is unrecognisable from 12 months ago, and it feels like I don’t know who I am anymore!  I’m getting married next week and, like you, just feel flat.  I wonder if I should really be making decisions like this when I feel so checked out.   I realise this is not particularly helpful for you, but just to let you know you’re not alone!

I’ve read the article recommended by Ourgirlinthenorth below and definitely recommend it.

really hoping you’re feeling a bit better - we’ll get through this!