23 and with Stage 3 Cancer (Stomach and lymph nodes) - advice for struggling emotionally

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you. While I don't have cancer myself, my partner was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at just 34, and we are facing many challenging moments together. I also lost my mum to cancer when I was 26, and her battle was incredibly tough to witness.

For us, focusing on small victories and moments of joy makes a big difference. Whether it’s a nice walk in the nature, a chat, or even just a moment of peace, these little things help us. 

Remember, you are not alone. Many people have walked this path and have found their way through it. Lean on your loved ones, seek support, and take it one day at a time. You are incredibly strong, even when you don’t feel like it. Xxx 

Hello - even with my diagnosis I can't imagine how you feel! I'm truly sorry you have had to go through such an horrendous ordeal at such a young age.   But from reading your post I would say that you are a very strong and determined young person (even if you don't feel like it atm).. you have every right to all the emotions you are feeling right now and you need to be kind to yourself and know that's its OK to feel all of these things. You need to give yourself time to deal with what you have been through, to come to terms with it and to come up with a plan for your future - it may be a different one from your original plan but having plans helps give you focus - an aim.

I can totally relate to your comment about not feeling like yourself - i keep saying to people i don't feel like me anymore but through counselling I've realised that I'm just a different me now and that i just need some time to get to know the new me.  I'm 51 and was diagnosed with a carcinoid lung tumour in January after being misdiagnosed with adult onset adrhma for years!.. everything moved very quickly and I'm now 13 weeks post op having had 2 lobes of my right lung removed and a lymph node. 

It really all got to me at about 4 weeks post op and I just felt angry at the world (and a handful of certain people) & still do some days. I couldn't get my head around it all and the nagging question of why me? But I let myself have these angry moments as I feel I deserve them but I just don't let them get out of control or consume me. I have also had to accept that there is no reason to the why me question. Each day i remind myself that i got through my dark days and that i will get stronger and i look at my scar and tell myself that I'm stronger than i believed i was and that i won't let the cancer define who i am... some days its easier than others but i just keep reminding myself!

I find talking about what I've been through helps me and I'm hoping this community can really help you too. I took advantage of the 4 weeks free bupa counselling with macmillan - that was brilliant! And I now have a macmillan buddy who is also brilliant.  I find journalling helps me too - somewhere where I can write down my thoughts and feelings even if it's just to get them out of my head. 

I have a couple of amazing friends but I think that only someone who has had a cancer diagnosis can truly relate to how it feels.   I am hoping you have a good support network and I would encourage you to try the counselling and then a buddy.

Have they said that your tummy will settle down so that drinking water and eating will become easier?  No chemo is good so what is the follow up for you now? 

I'm guessing by your name 'ilovemycat' that you like cats.  I found my cats great therapy when I was recovering from op - they just seemed to know when I needed them close by alto they still expected me to cater to their every whim as normal

Please be kind to yourself and remind yourself how amazingly strong you have already been! 

Take care x 

Hi!

It feels good to find people just like me because all my friends don't have to go through this at our age. I am glad you are doing well (sounds like), and I wish you all the best. Some days are easier and some feel like the end of the world. I also look at my giant scar and remind myself that I am a fighter. 

I won't be doing chemo, and I believe it is because my tumor was low grade. If new mets or tumors come, they will be doing hormonal therapy for me. The drug will stunt tumor growth, and for the rest of my life, I would just continue that drug.

I love cats, but when I came home post-op, my cat wouldn't leave me alone. I thought I was dying because of how affectionate my cat was haha.

Lastly, eating has gotten better than I was 3 weeks ago. However, it can still be a challenge. I drink mostly Powerade and juices while eating a select number of fruits and favorite meals. Sometimes I do throw it up or I can only eat 1 bite, but I want to be better. They will remove my j tube next month if I am doing good. 

Thank you for your reply

My partner had stayed with me throughout my surgery, my diagnosis and post-op. I am terrified that they are going to leave me because I feel like a burden. I've been taking life one step at a time, enjoying small things and smiling. Sometimes, it is just hard.

Thank you for your reply

Hi I got diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer on 11th April this year, a year to the day my dad died, my diagnosis was a 3cm tumor in the small bowel, metastasis to the liver, and lympnodes the hospital I am under started me on everolimus as they said unless we can get all the cancer in one scoop we cannot operate at first they were going to do injection every four weeks I started everolimus two weeks ago and had to stop it for a two week break due to chest pain, I'm so tired, itchy and have to go to hospital every two weeks for weight check,  blood tests as well as updates I have mouth ulcers as well, I'm angry as mine was found in 2021 but was told I was OK and now I'm not my hair sheds quite a lot today feelvery down and not upbeat