Hello, I'm Cru, Partner of my Loved one, Stem cell Harvest 24th of this Month

Don’t try too hard to be positive that can be draining for the recipient of the positivity.  The best way to help is to just be normal - be how you were before the diagnosis  - That’s how my partner helps me. It might be different for you though

Hi Cru, welcome to the forum.

You said yourself that you are always there for her. I think (as someone with myeloma myself) that that is the key thing.

That will be particularly the case when she comes home after the transplant. Her immunity will be wiped out and she is likely to feel pretty weak.

Just being there, providing company and practical help, such as doing household chores and making sure that no one with an infection comes anywhere near her, will make a huge difference.

You have got this far, and that demonstrates strength.

When I was diagnosed, I wanted to get emotional support from my family (I don't have friends), but they were all so devastated too that I couldn't. It was Christmas 2022, and I can tell you that it was a miserable family Christmas.

You don't necessarily have to talk much. Being someone who can listen to your wife may help a lot. You may find it tough - if you can keep any tears away from her, that could help her. Talking things over with friends or relatives could make things easier on you.

In terms of being positive, the prognosis for myeloma patients is better than it has ever been. New treatments - Car-T, bispecific antibodies, CELMoDs, ADCs, trispecific antibodies etc - are coming out. One challenge for doctors now is figuring out which of the many alternative treatments to give to a patient, and that is a relatively good problem to have.

People are living with myeloma for a long, long time these days. The next couple of months will bring its own challenges, but you and your wife will soon be through them! 

Hi. Cru.  Chicken2  has given great great advice there !    I.   Like chicken went through treatments first. M. M.  Now also in remission.  I am sure you are not a clutz.  There are some many emotions to deal with       Please do what comes naturally to you.  It will be the right thing      It’s a tough journey but worth the effort for both of you.      I live a very good life with now 19 months post stem cell transplant.     The recovery part is tough.  Please prepare for that.  Macmillan have great support brochures to help.  In duet preparation and also caring for the carer       One day at a time will get you there !    Lots of strong love to you both.   Kevin