Hello, I'm new here

Hi my husband was diagnosed last October he had 2 sessions of immunotherapy in December after a scan in January we were told the tumour had grown slightly and immunotherapy was not working,he was offered chemo but has decided not to go ahead with this option as he thought the side effects outweighed the benefit . He also was fit and healthy before this happened and came as a complete shock to us it is horrible to watch him. up until a few weeks ago he was quite ok mentally but has now became very anxious. He was prescribed steroids and for about 6 weeks his mood was great but they don’t seem to be working the same now. I feel for you with your mums illness also ,our daughter was diagnosed last year with MS again totally out of the blue and we thought the worst had happened to us until this. I understand how you are feeling I have ok days then like today all I do is cry. It is hard to stay strong when you know the outcome.

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and, of course, your husband.

It must be so difficult for you to watch your husband becoming anxious in addition to his physical condition. At the moment my husband says he has accepted his diagnosis and come to terms with it, whereas you have to cope with seeing your husband's anxiety as well. My mum is very anxious (one of the symptoms of Alzheimer's) so I know how hard it is to deal with. 

I suppose your poor husband is also very worried about your daughter, which must add to his anxieties. He must worry about you and your daughter and your future. Poor you having to cope with all this pain.  Life is so cruel sometimes. 

I was surprised your husband was given immunotherapy and then offered chemo. My husband was given chemo as the first step, then will have a CT scan after the 6 cycles, and then immunotherapy may be offered. My husband was reluctant to have chemo after being told about all the possible side effects but was persuaded by the oncology team that it was definitely worth it. Of course, it is always up to the individual and I would certainly support my husband if/when he decided to refuse further chemo. It must have been heartbreaking to hear his tumour had slightly increased in size after the immunotherapy. 

I am sorry you're having a crying day today. It is probably good to let it all out though. I kept all my feelings in and then had the TGA. As you say it is hard to stay strong when you know the outcome and maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves to stay strong. Do you have supportive friends and family? I hope you do but only people who are going through the same thing really understand, which is natural. Thank you for replying. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.