Hello..

i'll give it a go. Not usually one for seeking help or advice but I'll give it a go. 

My dad (72) is/was a hard working engineer since as far back as I can remember. He was always at work, if you wanted to spend time with Dad.. you went to work with him. Always happy to help a friend with anything and almost always with a smile and a twinkle in his eye.

He presented at hospital with a severe bad back a couple of weeks ago. Dad never caused a fuss with doctors and the like so this was well out of character. He was treated as he presented... given Tramadol, Co-Codamol, and sent home. A day or so later he was back in and was kept in with worsening pain. Sent to another hospital he had a CT scan and then a second before a full body MRI.

I got a phone call from mum. Dad is in a bad way was pretty much all the sense that was made. She's is not somebody you'd be able to rely on or lean on in a time of crisis. More a panic and run person who hears the word cancer and BOOM.

Graham, my brother, was called to get the facts. Mesothelioma had got him. It has started as it does in the soft lining of the lungs where several tumours seems to have got a hold. The worrying this is it had now got to his spine and is pressing hard on the cord. There are concerns about the use of his legs.

Radio started straight away in order to either shrink or at least keep in check that spine tumour. I expect Monday will be his 5th round of radio and then we'll be informed of the prognosis and plan moving forward.

I live a good 5 hours away and find talking to either of them about this challenge. A.. they don't seem to listen when the pro's are giving information and B.. Dad says "it'll be fine son... lets see what happens" & mum says "I can't deal with this ... I just need to know what the cure is". They don't want to take any help from Macmillan and seem to think they are not entitled to any sort of support either physically or financially. 

I have tried to explain how important it is to reach out ASAP and that having watched my in-laws go through the end stages of cancer.... they amount of help available to them is incredible. 

During this weekend I tried to explain to my old man that some of the meds he has in his "cancer meds box" are dangerous and he should get advice on what can and cannot be taken together. An example is Tramadol, Co-Codamol and his bottle of Morphine. I have no idea if he can use these together in conjunction with the steroids and antibiotics he's taking.

It's all over the place and the weekend felt like i was in a zombie movie. Can I request Macmillan get in touch? do the hospital put it in motion or do my folks have to call themselves (they won't". 

Sorry if I sound like I'm rambling.... I have been awake since 6am Friday just gone, drove to Scotland and back from Yorkshire and I think I ate a packet of crisps at some point. :)