Just after some reassurance...
My husband & I are both soul caregivers for my father in law who has lung cancer and moderate dementia. There is no treatment for him, its just palliative care.
We visited a care home recently to look into having some respite care one week a month each month. But we both feel so guilty about the thought of putting him in there. But things are very hard at home and it's now causing my husband health issues. I know we need to think about ourselves as well, but its very hard making this decision.
We wouldn't be putting him in there permanently at this stage, but we need a break too so we can look after him the rest of the time.
Having carers in our house is not an option for us, due to lack of space as well as having pets.
Please tell me we are not being unreasonable, or if anyone has any other advice with our predicament.
Thank you 
Hi Choompster and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community and, although I'm not a member of this group, I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.
You might also benefit from joining and posting in the carers only group, as you'll then connect directly with others who will understand what it's like caring for someone with cancer.
Macmillan have this information on looking after someone with cancer, which you might find helpful to take a look at, along with this on the emotional effects of caring for someone.
While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your father-in-law's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
